why do i still bother?~~!!

I know i'm stupid la......

but it's not as if i'm still loving him and dun wanna let go...

he's one lousy man la.....true bastard to add on......

i know alot of ppl won't understand my feelings now....

some might even thought i'm finding more probs and making life difficult for myself....

i'm fucked up now.....thx to no one but a jerk....

i'll be back to normal and lead a happier life.....

it's the realistic fact that i needa swallow man.....

that i was kena 2 timed...hurt......cried.....shit days.....they're happily tog.....went bkk for holiday.....freaking disgustingly lovables........celebrated their one mth anni 2 days back......sharing love quotes for each other........

bastard and i broke off 7th june......yes i know i'm 2 timed already....i know....but.....to re-accept this over again is shit~

full of shit.....

getting out of shit~!!

arghhhh

how i know of all these?

stupidly logged on to his fb account la~!!

some may think i'm looking for more trouble la....serves me right ma...but i just cant seem to stop myself......

how can he be happy?

like as if no one is hurt cos of them......

asshole

relationship n feelings are jus so complicating, i jus dun understand how can love jus change to hatred, how can a frenship jus turn sour in split secs, and all these r jus revolving in everyone's life. Reasons behind includes midunderstandings.. quarrell and even nonsense excuses eg "can;t click" and "nt compatiable". The onli thing that will last in moi life is kinship. The onli thing that is unchange will be the love from one's parents. Nv to believe totally in someone u deeply in love wif.. or nv to trust ur bestie totally.. cus end of the dae.. u will jus be the one hu r being sacrifice in the game..this is proven right by experience..


the above passage is from my ex coll's blog long ago.....some typo error there.....but it's really quite meaningful.

she's 4 yrs my junior....been through alot of emotional pain....cheerful and happy-go-lucky girl but she's actually very very weak inside.....

things will nv be the same again.........i strongly believe....

anyway.....watched Transformers last night at lido.....nice place to watch long movie.....2.5hrs!

went out with my sec sch senior.....in fact he's one of the 'sch grass' (direct translation to chinese) back then....nice feeling to hang out with old sch frds......but he's still looking gd and YOUNG....lol......women tend to age faster can~ ha....

I NEED TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS MORE!!!!

painful....

Since that nightmare I had with Aloysius.... I never thought i could feel pain in my heart once again....

till i dropped a tear and it continued to well up in my heart.....

how can she not know that i've got no feelings for that guy frd or any other guys now? At this current state of mind.....who will ever think that i'll feel something for someone now??

she didn't wanna share with me immediately....she kept it with her....dun noe how to tell me.....seriously dun noe this dun noe that...worried i might be sad? that i like this guy frd of mine in the end this guy fallen for her? i'm completely hurt....as if my heart is not trashed enough....

for this....i need time to heal too......but i guess she didn't know....

anyway.....i'm seriously feeling better now...although it's only a little wee bit better...it meant alot to me.....

bastard....lies after lies to me....when he's actually fooling ard with another woman outside.....and now he's happily with this woman...which i know their happiness DEFINITELY won't last......and they will come to ill and lousy sad endings.......i'm not gonna care...but i just know.....buddhism karma....

ok...enough of sadness....

went PLU cafe with my 2 sweet aunts......enjoyed myself so much simply by chatting......

i need more of sorts.......and i need more FRIENDS~~!!

oh...by the way have i mentioned that i've been to this gay pub where my best buddy has been working for more than 5 yrs?

one word...............'FUN'

confronted

yes...it is a third party.......since don't know when.......treated like a fool by that jerk.......he's gonna get retribution.....seriously....

gd for him...that girl smokes and drinks......they're oh-so-compatible.......

he knows this girl from this pub he frequents........hAHahhA......i've alwiz given trust.....in the end......his drinking sessions after work is actually accompanied by that girl......

marking the official ending

he's the only man i love so much so far....

that is why i'm sticking with him though he's this and that...

now that we left......in 2 different directions.....without turning back....

i actually felt weak....

yes....he's the one who broke off with me.....i felt immense pain.....

especially those words he said....

i alwiz thought i could be so cool and can take it easy....

nv......

it's so hard to let go....but i have to.......

i've to stop loving this guy who used words to hurt a woman he's with for 2yrs.......

and i thought we're loving each other so much.......thats y i nv thought of giving up....alwiz hoping for the best and that he'll change one day.....

nv.....

might be cos of my fucking temper

might be cos of his incessant smoking....

might be cos of a 3rd party......

might be that we're really not compatible....

might be he's really tired of me......cos he said the feeling towards me is gone...and he felt routine...

hahAHhahAHa.....

i loved him....

as usual....post-break-up is nv easy.....

those happy moments...memories.....blahblahblah....

since he's so cool towards giving up on me....

why shld i bother to feel emotional whenever scenes of me and him tog happily flashed back thru my mind?

bye Aloysius.....

ppl ard me who care and love me have been giving so much great support......

definitely gonna tide thru this ordeal......

wanna break free

Have you ever been in a relationship so strong, that you love that somebody so much till you need lots of determination and courage and cold heart to let go?

someone that you see no future together.....never changes his old bad habits which he promised to quit ages ago......someone simply not meant to be....

It's been nearly 2 yrs.......everything is so fine.....his family members liking me and mine like him.....it's all you can ever think of in a sweet relationship.

I'm no longer getting any younger...I still can recall my 21st birthday party at downtown east with so many frds ard.....but in just a few winks....it's been nearly 5 yrs!

I'm someone who wanna settle down....bask in the bliss of a marriage.....be a parent.....own a house with my husband and children......

other than the above mentioned, i also want a career of my own...one which gives me satisfaction and joy.....one job that can make me smile......and of cos to earn big bucks.....

i don't want to view others in envy....i want others to be envious of me!

ppl getting married.....the joy and happiness of the brides.....ppl getting babies of their own....the motherly look on their faces......ppl who enjoyed their work so much.....getting fat salaries and bonuses........

since young....i've set my ideal marriage age at 25 or 26......guess now it'll be changed.....and ppl hate changes.....i hate them too!

suddenly i don't feel like getting married and giving birth to my own children anymore.....i wanna treasure my youth.....i wanna try all things i've yet to try and work a job which i love......

OL.....definitely with a warranty chop i cant really enjoy being......

i used to think that a 5day week job will suit me.......but i longer has that thought now......why sacrifice my passion in a job simply cos i wanna spend more time with a boyfriend who does not even give a damn?

i want to meet ppl everyday....i wanna provide superior service and make them happy......i wanna experience happiness in a job......

wish me luck ppl...

old times

do you know?

there are more than 50% of links to my friends' blogsite are already UNAVAILABLE....

ha....and I.....didn't even bother to clear away those useless links.....some friends changed site address but i did not update immediately.....and now that i had forgotten.....

when i'm bored......i love to read blogs......sometimes xiaxue sometimes the so-called plasticzilla......lol......yeah...i prefer xx to dy.....but it's always better to read friends' blogs.....

too bad......there's limitation now.......can friends who still visit here and who still bother to blog leave ur blogsite address in the tagbox? ha....i would love to read them.....

arghh!!!!

hate long nailed fingers of mine when i'm typing.......

do you know?

that i'm gonna do my virgin manicure and maybe a virgin pedicure in either hongkong or china?

i've not done any of those.......quite unbelieveable huh.......well...used to be from f&b....short nails for hygiene......and then working in a clinic......short nails for hygiene as well.....in fact i prefer short nails..........but keeping it long looks nice.....hAHhahahhA......

anyway.....most friends who still has their blogsite available are no longer active......

boring......

my bro dun blog as often too....i think the only one who is doing it pretty constantly is my cousin.......

heh....yes....i'm goig for a trip to macau this saturday!!! AHhahAHahhA

so excited~

mainly heading for hongkong........and probably luo hu and zhu hai....which is in china........

my bro wants me to plan an itinerary.....which....i tried but in vain......i've not been there before~

anyone knows of any nice itinerary or any nice info abt hk or macau pls sms me before i fly......

flying off 21st feb 09 at 1225hrs......tiger airways.........dread that plane man......but nvm...cheap....

went for a job interview just now at kaki bukit.....nice interviewer......gave me time to consider.......heh......it's a 5.5days job......mon to fri 0900-1800......sat 0900-1300.....

going for one more tml......5days job.....mon to thurs 0830-1800 fri 0830-1730....working place is near to MOM....which is near to clarke quay station.....great .....but i'm going to international plaza for the interview.....boring place.......well....i hate the cbd area.........dun noe why........dun wish to work at that area ever.....

......it's kelly services....so no choice gotta make a trip there.........

do you know?

i'm trying so hard to make myself look tanner......hAHahHA......swam quite a fair bit recently......with the scorching hot sun everyday in the afternoon....i'm confident i'm not gonna look fair anymore.....HAHahAH.......

alrighty........tired fingers........cos i'm using my nails to type......thus exerting more stress to all my poor fingies..........tata~~