pms-ing
Sunday, November 01, 2009
guess i'm having my pre-menstrual kinda mood swing....
serious one i must say...
that kind of i hate my face i hate my hair i hate my job i hate ppl ard me i hate everything abt me or ard me.... lol
someone has gotta slap me to stop all these nonsense...
i'm cash-strapped.....i'm fat...i have ugly hair....i have onion nose....my face is pimply and oily and overly meaty...i have sensitive skin on my arms and lower legs......i just waxed my legs but some ingrowns are annoying me....etc etc....
my hair sux the most....
yet i've no money to do anything abt it....
i'm coming 26 yet everything seemed empty...no achievements.....no money.......wasting my life away.....insignificantly.....
ok.....shut u kevlyn....at least u're healthy and kicking.....stfu
ill
Saturday, September 26, 2009
finally....i'm really ill....very disgustingly sore throat....can't even have enough strength to cough whenever my throat irks me at times....short and out of breath too...
no..i'm not asthmatic....
2 weeks passed.....nth unpleasant....guess i'm used to the ugly sides of unpleasant ppl.....since my days when i started working more than 10 yrs back.....OMG! thats like freaking long ago....ok..i'm getting older....
met my ex manager one of the weekdays aft work......for a singing session at teo heng at katong....been sometime since my last time there....they've upgraded their ktv system.....touch screen oh~ haha....it's not expensive....4 hrs for 12 dollars per head....includes a drink....3 others were there too.....bubbly and young ladies working at tcc with my ex manager....again...time really flies la.....i've already left tcc for nearly 2 yrs!
ummm......2 yrs.....i remember telling my gd frd from tp, Vivian that 2 yrs is not that long.....but she rebutted me back.....quoting how much one can do with 2 yrs.....700 over days.....wtf.....truly....i've wasted my 2 yrs......but it's fine...lesson learnt....
see....i'm thinking abt that again.....not that i'm still harping on it or wadever shit....or that i'm still feeling something for that arse...nth of that sorts.....ummm.....well....can't put it in words....
i'm really moving on now...enjoying my own life doing things for myself.....engrossing in my job.....
during my teens...i worked at pan pacific hotel for quite sometime at the banquet dept when i'm ard 15 or 16....been though many wedding lunches and dinners.....even solemnisation ceremonies....it was the late 90s.....ppl are already started having sweet video clips of how they met..how love was confessed...their dating...love journey....how the man proposed......the whole wedding process.....morning morning going to the bride's hse.....clearing silly obstacles to get the bride....sweet nths....touching scenes.....romantic singings and confessions.....u name it....i had seen it..thats the most exciting and nice part abt working at a wedding lunch or dinner......cos during the video viewing part....we have to stop serving ma....so most of us will watch free shows and started 'awww-ing and ohh-ing'.......sweetz.....i'm sure u guys know how it felt la....
at that time....i'm all envy yes....but i nv see myself in this kinda situation.....nth.....i did not even dream any bit.....
but....when i grew older.....2004.....when i'm 21.....i secretly wished that one day i'll be as happy as a bride....i was having my attachment at conrad hotel.....banquet dept as well.....
5 yrs and that feeling of wanting to get married with the man who love me grew......
now....another 5 yrs passed.....guess what....
the feeling's gone oh.....yes.....i still do feel awww and ohhh when i saw my frds getting married.....ummm....quite alot of my frds are married la! haha.....but.....
i don't have that craving and dream anymore......of course....when my nice guy come along and wanna me to marry him....i will still feel touched and go with it....
ahhahaha.....i'm not contradicting myself...
ok.....enough of this issue....
went to this thai disco at golden mile ytd with some of my colls....singha beer....nice frdly thai servers......great live band and djs....sweet company....just outside the place...there's this stall seliing auth thai soupy beef glass noodle......damn shiok! we had that after our beering session....haha....sinful huh....LOL
i'm going to pack some stuff now.....leaving for jb soon....my dearest mummy and aunts......their cousin passed away....sudden death....tmr's his cremation.....making our way there for his last journey...mummy was telling me how close they are when they were young......and started showing me pictures.....i don'y really know this uncle of mine....merely saw him once last may at my granny's wake at jb.....he was there every night lor....sweet man....well...life's unpredictable.....i may just die too.....so.....must always stay happy and enjoy life's every moment!
seeya guys
tough feat...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
i'm gonna pull through this period....
seeing how vibrant and happy some of my fellow colleagues are....made me have that thought of how I wish i could be young like 20 again....year 2003....bloody 6 yrs....
time waits for no women..lol....
wads impt now is the correct mindset and positive attitude.....i'm not gonna bring myself down......
suddenly...the word humility....it came into my mind out of nowhere.....ummm......i'm so gonna uphold this word...
seeya
weird werid feeling
Sunday, August 23, 2009
i'm not a risk taker....
i've nv seriously spoken to any man that i have a special feel towards him...
but i'm thick skinned la....
not that i'm afraid of any paiseh-ness....
just felt there's no need for me to risk losing the frdshp...just because i want something more....
though i hate the feeling of secretly holding the torch for anyone.......
well....nth i can do......or will do.....
maybe another side of my mind.....i've got this very very strong feeling that it's definitely gonna be a bad sad scene when my feelings are exposed.....
ummm...he's really really everything i want in my version of ideal man...
i thought he might have sensed it years ago......
apparently not.....
guess i'm not the type of girl he's looking for......
kns feeling man......
i'll just focus on my upcoming new job......
best thing to do.....
men....back off!!!!
loving my nail colour!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
lol! Self-taken pic~~ 自拍照~
satisfied man.....it's been too long since i'm happy with a self shot....
nice angle....youthful.....not as fat as real self....hahahah!! deceiving....
well....pics always are....lol
ummmm.....one of my coll worked her last day.....soon it shall be my turn~ bad date though.....911.....time flies.....that tragic incident happened on yr 2001.....i was still sleeping when mummy came into my room....switched on my tv......to channel news asia......to show me the crumbling of the towers.......scary......
8 yrs!!
ha.....time wasted i thought.......so my next 8 yrs....i'm not gonna waste it man.....
so excited~
new skin
Monday, August 17, 2009
It's been years since a new skin to my blog...lol
so many things needa be changed....time consuming.....this skin is nice but i did not spend enough time to personalise it.....therefore lack of certain lustre.....
i'm so down these days.......especially this morning.....hope i'll brace up real soon......cant continue to be in this way for too long.......
=)
not my cup of tea
Saturday, August 15, 2009
will be switching job with no time lapse in between in mid september.....
farewell to desk-bound.......
embarking in a totally new scope....
well......office jobs are new to me as well.......
maybe i'm really the impatient sort.....barely 4 months and i had raised the white flag to office job.....
i wanna be on da move.....i wanna work hard and be able to see results in monetary terms......
PR!! and of cos....the ability to convince and sell.......which i'm totally a greenhorn....
can't wait to start.....
though i know it's gonna be tough.....extreme kind......
for the longest time....i'm gonna wake up 5+am later.......needa be in town by 7am!!
thinking back.......suddenly miss my attachment period......yeah.....morning shifts in hotels starts from 7am!!!!!!
horrible.......year 2004 june till december.........one of the lowest point in my life can be found during that period......peanuts wage.....overworked.......kena bullied but must diam diam....got cheated.......
but then again......i've learnt so much after going through those shit.....
yeah......i'm someone who can endure shit times......
i'll take wadever comes......
counting down to my last day.......28 days more......
anticipation to me is a torture......lol......
like i said.....i'm IMPATIENT!!!!
hahahaha......will change will change... =pPp
