it's all about me not u

Joyous occasion

2010-05-16T22:14:00.003+08:00

It has been very long since i'm involved in a full day event.

Pain in my uterus again during the night prior to their wedding. Overdosage of painkillers to ease the pain. Turn out failed to reach Bride's house for the first part of the wedding. Managed to drive Zeke's car to Groom's house just in time around 8am. They all had just gotten back from the bride's place.

After Hougang, we all went back to Jurong east with the super gigantic roasted pig. Had our lunch there and left. When i got home, it's nearly 1pm. Wanted to nap a little but reckoned I don't have much time as I needed reach suntec at 5pm. By 4pm i needa get my hair and face ready!

Dolled up and reached the dinner place. Walked and walked around on my super high heels co-ordinating the event with the rest of the brothers and sisters. As i'm also the emcee together with Junjie, we sort of rehearsed a little. Impromptu was what he said. Felt super nervous as that was my first time hosting a wedding!

Everything turned out good. Groom got drunk and bride got super tired. Sent them back to Conrad's suite and headed home. Super tired! But it's worth it.

I love happy occasions!!!

In fact, I helped in my Brother's proposal by sentosa beach on Friday! It was a successful happy event!

feelings

2010-05-02T03:31:00.002+08:00

For nearly 27 years of my life, I have had many feelings.

The feeling when i don't get my favourite Barbie doll of the shelf

The feeling when i failed my exams

The feeling when the teacher scolded me in front of the whole class

The feeling when i saw my crush looking towards my direction

The feeling when i top the class

The feeling when i smoked my first cigarette

The feeling when mummy caught me smoking

The feeling when i fall in love

but as i grew older, i felt that feelings can easily be faked.

some ppl are obviously not happy yet can show a gleeful smile

some are happy yet can act as if the whole world is crumbling down on them

some ppl are interested in that someone yet acted as if they meant nothing to them

and..

some ppl do not have feelings for that someone yet showed superb enthusiasm in them.

can feelings be trusted?

since ppl love toying with feelings....i have also eventually decided that feelings cant be trusted anymore...

so what i like this guy? my feelings are strong but it cant be trusted.

this guy can be so nice to me but anytime he could just walk away from me....

i think ppl should really be more serious in how they handle their feelings.....

i think this is called how to control your emotions

after all these yrs....i know i had mastered this very well...

men

2010-04-21T23:37:00.002+08:00

I merely did a test..... and he got defensive and felt all so guilty....

thats it....he's been lying to me.....

i did not even know what shit he had done or wad kinda lies he had made.......

all i did was to feel emo and told him 'i knew u lied'.....

true colours.....

just another man who lied.......

it's not as if i had not seen enough huh......

but why and what did he do?

he simply dont wanna face the whole situation......

he left me feeling void suddenly......

he simply walked off......as if there's nth we shared.....

disappointed at the way he handled this situation.....

*shrugz

wad can i do huh.....

i treasured this frdshp.....he didnt.....

well....

=(

2010-03-03T22:35:00.003+08:00

About Me:

Nothing much abt myself actually. Just a simple guy who
likes his current job at Cafe Cartel. Siglap's branch
onez..reason is simple..cos the colleagues there are all
very fun-loving. All of us are like one big family...even
our dishwasher, Raja...oso one of my close
bros..haha..Patrick, Ah Deng, Alvin and the others are
some of my close bros too...enjoy workin with them alot.
although i may b one of the joker in the kitchen and often
fools ard, i'm actually quite reserved at times. I like to
dance in front of other crews while cookin and this
normally made them laugh like mad..Ah Deng's dancing is
also quite hilarious...=X..set aside work, i alwiz hang
out with my bike frens to chat and go for outings
organised by us. Plain riding is also another way to relax
with them during my free time...

I was browsing through my friendster account when I saw someone left a testimonial for Joseph.....

All his friends miss him alot......I do too....

He's like a big bro looking out for me.....always....

If only he is still around with us.....

so I clicked into his profile page....saw his main picture and my heart ached a little.....i read some of his testimonials from his friends........and i scrolled down.....

I was the one who helped him to register the account there.......he's too lazy to do so......that chunk of "about me" information was created by me....vetted by him of course....haha.....we used to have so much fun.....

buddy.....I miss you so much....I know u're alwiz in my heart......stay happy and crazy...my 'dirty smelly tiko'.....

i'm down....yes....officially down......Dad came into my room an hour ago to offer me ben & jerry's ice cream.....i turned down his offer.....

I had learnt so much all these years.......work experience do help alot cos it's especially hard to get along with fellow colleagues......

I know how to reflect on myself and had also learnt how to say 'sorry' when i'm at fault (i'm like a stubborn pig last time...refused to say 'sorry').......it does not mean i should be forgiven after apologising but at least it makes the whole situation better.....cos after all life's about forgiving and forgetting.......y get so hard up over bad issues and irritants in life when it's already so short?

get angry and start saying all bad things about the other person is something i found familiar......yes....i'm such a bitch in my younger days......i totally see no fault in myself.....i worked the hard way up this social ladder.....

after my last failed relationship....i had learnt totally.....to accept flaws and not expect ppl to behave like how u expect them to be......if they are like that.....fuck it.....no point telling them how bad they are and that u cant tolerate any longer......this is what happened during my relationship with that jerk.....yes....he is one jerk.....who left me for another woman....but....things happened for a reason and i cant blame him totally.....yes....OBVIOUSLY its his fault but not totally huh......

suddenly all bad things come pouring into my head......i needa release them quickly......someone stab me pls.....

twenty ten

2010-01-02T01:20:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year....

I know it's been 2 mths since i last posted something in here.....

Life at my new workplace has been nice so far....

Spent my 26th year on 22nd Dec 2009 with my love ones.....

Had fun during xmas eve.....

Was at Celebrate2010 at the float@marinabay....

and then it's a brand new year.....

in a wink....it will be the cny! ha...

the countdown night was fun...it's been so long since i spent NYE in town.....

got unintentional exposure to a cute celebrity....

Shanghai guy... lovely features....tall built.....Dai Yang Tian.....seriously...i'm super mesmerized by him....ha....i was already quite into him as his acting skills are quite good despite his little exposure at mediacorp tv....as in he's only in that company for such a short time....

we took some pictures together with the help of my gd frd Jaeden~ who is also the one with the complimentary ticket to that party.....

i must say its a great start to 2010 with DaiYangTian wishes.....and his handshake for me.....his right hand was very warm! heheheh

besides Andy Lau....he's the 2nd man who made me felt so gaga over...mUAHhahA....

good or bad thing huh?

i needa slp soon.....gonna wrk tmr.....zzzz

wish me luck for tmr's dental appt....hope none of my tooth needs to be filled.....and yeah....i miss my handphone!!! hopes that the servicing job has been done la~ it's been a week~~~~

looking forward to a super 2010~ umm....when age catches up....time gets more and more precious....and i....start to appreciate ppl ard me more~

love you guys~ good night

pms-ing

2009-11-01T15:13:00.003+08:00

guess i'm having my pre-menstrual kinda mood swing....

serious one i must say...

that kind of i hate my face i hate my hair i hate my job i hate ppl ard me i hate everything abt me or ard me.... lol

someone has gotta slap me to stop all these nonsense...

i'm coming 26 yet everything seemed empty...no achievements.....no money.......wasting my life away.....insignificantly.....

ok.....shut up kevlyn....at least u're healthy and kicking.....

ill

2009-09-26T20:36:00.002+08:00

finally....i'm really ill....very disgustingly sore throat....can't even have enough strength to cough whenever my throat irks me at times....short and out of breath too...

no..i'm not asthmatic....

2 weeks passed.....nth unpleasant....guess i'm used to the ugly sides of unpleasant ppl.....since my days when i started working more than 10 yrs back.....OMG! thats like freaking long ago....ok..i'm getting older....

met my ex manager one of the weekdays aft work......for a singing session at teo heng at katong....been sometime since my last time there....they've upgraded their ktv system.....touch screen oh~ haha....it's not expensive....4 hrs for 12 dollars per head....includes a drink....3 others were there too.....bubbly and young ladies working at tcc with my ex manager....again...time really flies la.....i've already left tcc for nearly 2 yrs!

ummm......2 yrs.....i remember telling my gd frd from tp, Vivian that 2 yrs is not that long.....but she rebutted me back.....quoting how much one can do with 2 yrs.....700 over days.....wtf.....truly....i've wasted my 2 yrs......but it's fine...lesson learnt....

see....i'm thinking abt that again.....not that i'm still harping on it or wadever shit....or that i'm still feeling something for that arse...nth of that sorts.....ummm.....well....can't put it in words....

i'm really moving on now...enjoying my own life doing things for myself.....engrossing in my job.....

during my teens...i worked at pan pacific hotel for quite sometime at the banquet dept when i'm ard 15 or 16....been though many wedding lunches and dinners.....even solemnisation ceremonies....it was the late 90s.....ppl are already started having sweet video clips of how they met..how love was confessed...their dating...love journey....how the man proposed......the whole wedding process.....morning morning going to the bride's hse.....clearing silly obstacles to get the bride....sweet nths....touching scenes.....romantic singings and confessions.....u name it....i had seen it..thats the most exciting and nice part abt working at a wedding lunch or dinner......cos during the video viewing part....we have to stop serving ma....so most of us will watch free shows and started 'awww-ing and ohh-ing'.......sweetz.....i'm sure u guys know how it felt la....

at that time....i'm all envy yes....but i nv see myself in this kinda situation.....nth.....i did not even dream any bit.....

but....when i grew older.....2004.....when i'm 21.....i secretly wished that one day i'll be as happy as a bride....i was having my attachment at conrad hotel.....banquet dept as well.....

5 yrs and that feeling of wanting to get married with the man who love me grew......

now....another 5 yrs passed.....guess what....

the feeling's gone oh.....yes.....i still do feel awww and ohhh when i saw my frds getting married.....ummm....quite alot of my frds are married la! haha.....but.....

i don't have that craving and dream anymore......of course....when my nice guy come along and wanna me to marry him....i will still feel touched and go with it....

ahhahaha.....i'm not contradicting myself...

ok.....enough of this issue....

went to this thai disco at golden mile ytd with some of my colls....singha beer....nice frdly thai servers......great live band and djs....sweet company....just outside the place...there's this stall seliing auth thai soupy beef glass noodle......damn shiok! we had that after our beering session....haha....sinful huh....LOL

i'm going to pack some stuff now.....leaving for jb soon....my dearest mummy and aunts......their cousin passed away....sudden death....tmr's his cremation.....making our way there for his last journey...mummy was telling me how close they are when they were young......and started showing me pictures.....i don'y really know this uncle of mine....merely saw him once last may at my granny's wake at jb.....he was there every night lor....sweet man....well...life's unpredictable.....i may just die too.....so.....must always stay happy and enjoy life's every moment!

seeya guys

tough feat...

2009-09-16T23:20:00.006+08:00

i'm gonna pull through this period....

seeing how vibrant and happy some of my fellow colleagues are....made me have that thought of how I wish i could be young like 20 again....year 2003....bloody 6 yrs....

time waits for no women..lol....

wads impt now is the correct mindset and positive attitude.....i'm not gonna bring myself down......

suddenly...the word humility....it came into my mind out of nowhere.....ummm......i'm so gonna uphold this word...

seeya

weird werid feeling

2009-08-23T15:44:00.000+08:00

i'm not a risk taker....

i've nv seriously spoken to any man that i have a special feel towards him...

but i'm thick skinned la....

not that i'm afraid of any paiseh-ness....

just felt there's no need for me to risk losing the frdshp...just because i want something more....

though i hate the feeling of secretly holding the torch for anyone.......

well....nth i can do......or will do.....

maybe another side of my mind.....i've got this very very strong feeling that it's definitely gonna be a bad sad scene when my feelings are exposed.....

ummm...he's really really everything i want in my version of ideal man...

i thought he might have sensed it years ago......

apparently not.....

guess i'm not the type of girl he's looking for......

kns feeling man......

i'll just focus on my upcoming new job......

best thing to do.....

men....back off!!!!

loving my nail colour!

2009-08-20T00:18:00.005+08:00

lol! Self-taken pic~~ 自拍照~

satisfied man.....it's been too long since i'm happy with a self shot....

nice angle....youthful.....not as fat as real self....hahahah!! deceiving....

well....pics always are....lol

ummmm.....one of my coll worked her last day.....soon it shall be my turn~ bad date though.....911.....time flies.....that tragic incident happened on yr 2001.....i was still sleeping when mummy came into my room....switched on my tv......to channel news asia......to show me the crumbling of the towers.......scary......

8 yrs!!

ha.....time wasted i thought.......so my next 8 yrs....i'm not gonna waste it man.....

so excited~

new skin

2009-08-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

It's been years since a new skin to my blog...lol

so many things needa be changed....time consuming.....this skin is nice but i did not spend enough time to personalise it.....therefore lack of certain lustre.....

i'm so down these days.......especially this morning.....hope i'll brace up real soon......cant continue to be in this way for too long.......

=)

not my cup of tea

2009-08-15T00:00:00.002+08:00

will be switching job with no time lapse in between in mid september.....

farewell to desk-bound.......

embarking in a totally new scope....

well......office jobs are new to me as well.......

maybe i'm really the impatient sort.....barely 4 months and i had raised the white flag to office job.....

i wanna be on da move.....i wanna work hard and be able to see results in monetary terms......

PR!! and of cos....the ability to convince and sell.......which i'm totally a greenhorn....

can't wait to start.....

though i know it's gonna be tough.....extreme kind......

for the longest time....i'm gonna wake up 5+am later.......needa be in town by 7am!!

thinking back.......suddenly miss my attachment period......yeah.....morning shifts in hotels starts from 7am!!!!!!

horrible.......year 2004 june till december.........one of the lowest point in my life can be found during that period......peanuts wage.....overworked.......kena bullied but must diam diam....got cheated.......

but then again......i've learnt so much after going through those shit.....

yeah......i'm someone who can endure shit times......

i'll take wadever comes......

counting down to my last day.......28 days more......

anticipation to me is a torture......lol......

like i said.....i'm IMPATIENT!!!!

hahahaha......will change will change... =pPp

Continued

2009-07-28T09:39:00.000+08:00

Ha! Lousy phone has got words limit! Sad. It broke my train of thoughts oh. Well. Topic was not covered yet right? Shall continue tonight. If.. Im free. Heh. Cos i needa alight at e next stop. Ha! Fast huh. :) NEL is good. My pink ipod nano playing nice song now! Alright, getting my butt of e seat. Time for work!

Anonymous being

2009-07-28T09:29:00.000+08:00

Ha! Virgin post using my lousy phone! This is what happened... I was stoned sitting on e train heading towards work. It suddenly strucked me that my Blog has always been a medium for quite a number of my friends to know my updates in life. Should this be a happy or sad thing? Like i had mentioned for a millionth time. I do have a lot of friends. But there are many times, i will feel lonely. That kind of 'all-by-myself' feeling. Dreadful. Every human being would very much like to feel attention. But....

2009-07-28T00:00:00.001+08:00

ASSHOLE* says (11:38 PM): how was ur last relationship?

*ASSHOLE* says (11:39 PM): broke up because of ur temper again? bulls eye? haha

wth right??!!!!!!!! *ASSHOLE* is a nick i gave him...to protect his identity i did not reveal his nick..sadly..he's one of my ex bf 8 yrs ago..i think so..merely a few wks tog and left....cos he's simply an ass who always nv think b4 he open his full-of-shit-mouth...

I love my friends says (11:41 PM): it's damn turn off for girls to receive such words from u
*ASSHOLE* says (11:41 PM): haha no worries im not going to get married. so dun need girls in my life maybe next life. then talk

loser's response to act tough....yes...my temper is fucked up....but i guess it's non of his biz....ok...vented....feeling so gd now

initially shouted these on my fb....after some tots decided to transfer it all here....dun wanna be too loud....LOL

anyway dined with my poly gd frd Vivian at j8 just now....was all so gd......miss ol' times man...

will be going down pasir ris park one of these days to visit another poly gd frd....pinky...lol...he's one nice frd too....well...i dun have much frds from poly.....long story....those who are close with me shld noe my ill fate in poly...haha...

2009-07-19T21:14:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me why i'm pouting...lol...well.....it's Lily's last day at work...kinda sad...

it's been more than 2 mths since i joined my present company....great colleague.....but leaving me....or rather leaving us...leaving the company....sincerely wishing her all the best in soaring to greater heights in terms of career......

we all had great lunch packed from fish & co specially delivered by Lily Ju & Erlin...sweetz....

that's my work station.....boring position man....can't even secretly skive man....lol....

my first time adding pic using blogspot itself.....LONG LONG ago at my old blogsite i used photobucket.......and then it ceased i think.....

it's coming monday again.....fast huh.....recently overspent.....so decided to stay home for the weekend.....and i survived! lol.....sometimes....locking myself at home is the best remedy for money saving.....

though....i felt loneliness drawing too near....

why do i still bother?~~!!

2009-07-02T23:11:00.003+08:00

I know i'm stupid la......

but it's not as if i'm still loving him and dun wanna let go...

he's one lousy man la.....true bastard to add on......

i know alot of ppl won't understand my feelings now....

some might even thought i'm finding more probs and making life difficult for myself....

i'm fucked up now.....thx to no one but a jerk....

i'll be back to normal and lead a happier life.....

it's the realistic fact that i needa swallow man.....

that i was kena 2 timed...hurt......cried.....shit days.....they're happily tog.....went bkk for holiday.....freaking disgustingly lovables........celebrated their one mth anni 2 days back......sharing love quotes for each other........

bastard and i broke off 7th june......yes i know i'm 2 timed already....i know....but.....to re-accept this over again is shit~

full of shit.....

getting out of shit~!!

arghhhh

how i know of all these?

stupidly logged on to his fb account la~!!

some may think i'm looking for more trouble la....serves me right ma...but i just cant seem to stop myself......

how can he be happy?

like as if no one is hurt cos of them......

asshole

2009-07-01T22:42:00.002+08:00

relationship n feelings are jus so complicating, i jus dun understand how can love jus change to hatred, how can a frenship jus turn sour in split secs, and all these r jus revolving in everyone's life. Reasons behind includes midunderstandings.. quarrell and even nonsense excuses eg "can;t click" and "nt compatiable". The onli thing that will last in moi life is kinship. The onli thing that is unchange will be the love from one's parents. Nv to believe totally in someone u deeply in love wif.. or nv to trust ur bestie totally.. cus end of the dae.. u will jus be the one hu r being sacrifice in the game..this is proven right by experience..

the above passage is from my ex coll's blog long ago.....some typo error there.....but it's really quite meaningful.

she's 4 yrs my junior....been through alot of emotional pain....cheerful and happy-go-lucky girl but she's actually very very weak inside.....

things will nv be the same again.........i strongly believe....

anyway.....watched Transformers last night at lido.....nice place to watch long movie.....2.5hrs!

went out with my sec sch senior.....in fact he's one of the 'sch grass' (direct translation to chinese) back then....nice feeling to hang out with old sch frds......but he's still looking gd and YOUNG....lol......women tend to age faster can~ ha....

I NEED TO HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS MORE!!!!

painful....

2009-06-24T00:32:00.002+08:00

Since that nightmare I had with Aloysius.... I never thought i could feel pain in my heart once again....

till i dropped a tear and it continued to well up in my heart.....

how can she not know that i've got no feelings for that guy frd or any other guys now? At this current state of mind.....who will ever think that i'll feel something for someone now??

she didn't wanna share with me immediately....she kept it with her....dun noe how to tell me.....seriously dun noe this dun noe that...worried i might be sad? that i like this guy frd of mine in the end this guy fallen for her? i'm completely hurt....as if my heart is not trashed enough....

for this....i need time to heal too......but i guess she didn't know....

anyway.....i'm seriously feeling better now...although it's only a little wee bit better...it meant alot to me.....

bastard....lies after lies to me....when he's actually fooling ard with another woman outside.....and now he's happily with this woman...which i know their happiness DEFINITELY won't last......and they will come to ill and lousy sad endings.......i'm not gonna care...but i just know.....buddhism karma....

ok...enough of sadness....

went PLU cafe with my 2 sweet aunts......enjoyed myself so much simply by chatting......

i need more of sorts.......and i need more FRIENDS~~!!

oh...by the way have i mentioned that i've been to this gay pub where my best buddy has been working for more than 5 yrs?

one word...............'FUN'

confronted

2009-06-17T11:29:00.003+08:00

yes...it is a third party.......since don't know when.......treated like a fool by that jerk.......he's gonna get retribution.....seriously....

gd for him...that girl smokes and drinks......they're oh-so-compatible.......

he knows this girl from this pub he frequents........hAHahhA......i've alwiz given trust.....in the end......his drinking sessions after work is actually accompanied by that girl......

marking the official ending

2009-06-09T00:59:00.002+08:00

he's the only man i love so much so far....

that is why i'm sticking with him though he's this and that...

now that we left......in 2 different directions.....without turning back....

i actually felt weak....

yes....he's the one who broke off with me.....i felt immense pain.....

especially those words he said....

i alwiz thought i could be so cool and can take it easy....

nv......

it's so hard to let go....but i have to.......

i've to stop loving this guy who used words to hurt a woman he's with for 2yrs.......

and i thought we're loving each other so much.......thats y i nv thought of giving up....alwiz hoping for the best and that he'll change one day.....

nv.....

might be cos of my fucking temper

might be cos of his incessant smoking....

might be cos of a 3rd party......

might be that we're really not compatible....

might be he's really tired of me......cos he said the feeling towards me is gone...and he felt routine...

hahAHhahAHa.....

i loved him....

as usual....post-break-up is nv easy.....

those happy moments...memories.....blahblahblah....

since he's so cool towards giving up on me....

why shld i bother to feel emotional whenever scenes of me and him tog happily flashed back thru my mind?

bye Aloysius.....

ppl ard me who care and love me have been giving so much great support......

definitely gonna tide thru this ordeal......

wanna break free

2009-05-17T19:28:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in a relationship so strong, that you love that somebody so much till you need lots of determination and courage and cold heart to let go?

someone that you see no future together.....never changes his old bad habits which he promised to quit ages ago......someone simply not meant to be....

It's been nearly 2 yrs.......everything is so fine.....his family members liking me and mine like him.....it's all you can ever think of in a sweet relationship.

I'm no longer getting any younger...I still can recall my 21st birthday party at downtown east with so many frds ard.....but in just a few winks....it's been nearly 5 yrs!

I'm someone who wanna settle down....bask in the bliss of a marriage.....be a parent.....own a house with my husband and children......

other than the above mentioned, i also want a career of my own...one which gives me satisfaction and joy.....one job that can make me smile......and of cos to earn big bucks.....

i don't want to view others in envy....i want others to be envious of me!

ppl getting married.....the joy and happiness of the brides.....ppl getting babies of their own....the motherly look on their faces......ppl who enjoyed their work so much.....getting fat salaries and bonuses........

since young....i've set my ideal marriage age at 25 or 26......guess now it'll be changed.....and ppl hate changes.....i hate them too!

suddenly i don't feel like getting married and giving birth to my own children anymore.....i wanna treasure my youth.....i wanna try all things i've yet to try and work a job which i love......

OL.....definitely with a warranty chop i cant really enjoy being......

i used to think that a 5day week job will suit me.......but i longer has that thought now......why sacrifice my passion in a job simply cos i wanna spend more time with a boyfriend who does not even give a damn?

i want to meet ppl everyday....i wanna provide superior service and make them happy......i wanna experience happiness in a job......

wish me luck ppl...

old times

2009-02-16T20:24:00.003+08:00

do you know?

there are more than 50% of links to my friends' blogsite are already UNAVAILABLE....

ha....and I.....didn't even bother to clear away those useless links.....some friends changed site address but i did not update immediately.....and now that i had forgotten.....

when i'm bored......i love to read blogs......sometimes xiaxue sometimes the so-called plasticzilla......lol......yeah...i prefer xx to dy.....but it's always better to read friends' blogs.....

too bad......there's limitation now.......can friends who still visit here and who still bother to blog leave ur blogsite address in the tagbox? ha....i would love to read them.....

arghh!!!!

hate long nailed fingers of mine when i'm typing.......

do you know?

that i'm gonna do my virgin manicure and maybe a virgin pedicure in either hongkong or china?

i've not done any of those.......quite unbelieveable huh.......well...used to be from f&b....short nails for hygiene......and then working in a clinic......short nails for hygiene as well.....in fact i prefer short nails..........but keeping it long looks nice.....hAHhahahhA......

anyway.....most friends who still has their blogsite available are no longer active......

boring......

my bro dun blog as often too....i think the only one who is doing it pretty constantly is my cousin.......

heh....yes....i'm goig for a trip to macau this saturday!!! AHhahAHahhA

so excited~

mainly heading for hongkong........and probably luo hu and zhu hai....which is in china........

my bro wants me to plan an itinerary.....which....i tried but in vain......i've not been there before~

anyone knows of any nice itinerary or any nice info abt hk or macau pls sms me before i fly......

flying off 21st feb 09 at 1225hrs......tiger airways.........dread that plane man......but nvm...cheap....

went for a job interview just now at kaki bukit.....nice interviewer......gave me time to consider.......heh......it's a 5.5days job......mon to fri 0900-1800......sat 0900-1300.....

going for one more tml......5days job.....mon to thurs 0830-1800 fri 0830-1730....working place is near to MOM....which is near to clarke quay station.....great .....but i'm going to international plaza for the interview.....boring place.......well....i hate the cbd area.........dun noe why........dun wish to work at that area ever.....

......it's kelly services....so no choice gotta make a trip there.........

do you know?

i'm trying so hard to make myself look tanner......hAHahHA......swam quite a fair bit recently......with the scorching hot sun everyday in the afternoon....i'm confident i'm not gonna look fair anymore.....HAHahAH.......

alrighty........tired fingers........cos i'm using my nails to type......thus exerting more stress to all my poor fingies..........tata~~

old times

2008-12-24T14:45:00.003+08:00

just visited my Bro's blog.....tears flowed immediately upon hearing that song.....the song played on that day ah ma was sent to mandai crematorium......my uncles and aunts....my daddy and mummy......all my cousins......my bro and i.......walked behind the casket van.......while this song was played........needless to say more.....

it flowed on and on till i decided to blog it out.....which is now

yes....i miss my ah ma (paternal granny).....

it's been more than 2 mths since she left us physically......

she's happy with God now......no more pain and sufferings....

as much as i hate to see her battle on with her illness......it also hurts me so much to know that she's no longer here......i want her to be there when i get married.......when i get a job i love......when i have kids.......and so on...............

i cried so hard......but quickly stopped cos i know she wouldn't wanna see me shed a single tear.....she'll definitely scold me for being silly.......cry baby.....lol

anyway....i'm 25.....scary huh......

AHhahA.....on leave this whole week....felt very grateful to all those frds who remembered my birthday.......and thanks to all my love ones for spending this special day with me........my aunt and cousins remembered too......=)

looking forward to a brand new and exciting 2009.........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

life...

2008-12-07T23:37:00.003+08:00

it's december again....i always love this month....not only because i'm born in december of course....not about christmas......ummm.....yep....my dearest gorgor is born in this month too......but....*shakes head........

i think......it's another chance for me to start afresh......

having lived nearly 25 yrs.....looking back......felt quite sorry for myself.....

no money no degree no career no confident no drive no motivation....

k.....i know i'm doing nothing but procrastinating....

on the lighter note.....i've got doting parents.....loving gorgor.....caring bf.....and of cos......relatives and frds....whom i know...will definitely be there for me......

i'm more than fortunate already........

since my graduation in polytechnic in mid 2005......i had slogged my way through at a cafe.....nice learning nice ppl and great experience......but sadly........no savings achieved.....

left there jan08.......survived through unemployed days with some peanut earnings from relief teaching.......

joined this clinic june08......horrendous wrking experience.....2 yrs contract..........tendered resignation in oct08.....last wrking day is jan09....full of shit 3 mths notice.......worst.......gotta pay 3.6k........enuf of sucky work experience......rather throw money at him den to spend my days till june10 with this horrible boss.......money can be earned........but time lost is forever gone.......

dun bother to ask me y i signed that blardy contract......hated myself too.....stupid.......grrrrr*

cant wait to leave.........but cant bear to leave all those lovely nurses.......they are all nice ppl....no politics no nth........only anger is abt that damned guy.......they said i'm the first to resign.....cos no one wans to pay for breaking the contract.....lol......

i believe in retribution.....making an employee pay when he/she leaves the company is a penalty clause........employee kena punished simply cos he/she wanna leave? bullshit.......

blame it on my stupidity and rashness

bad patch in my life.........i'm seeking a fresh new beginning in yr 2009......looking forward......but of cos not on the first day of jan 2009.......it's on 15thjan2009......my last day of work......

down

2008-09-13T00:50:00.002+08:00

this isn't what i felt exactly a yr ago......

i've never been down like this b4.......as in the intensity is still alright.......just felt i've got no choice.....everything is beyond my limits.....

haiz.........

i seriously need to make myself happy.......if not......someone loan me a 3.6k pls!

life

2008-07-26T00:42:00.002+08:00

the best cure to agony of life is to stay happy at all times......of cos...trying very hard.....

no point complaining about how bad life is or how terrible life has been.

simply put.....tell yourself to be HAPPY

well......that's what most ppl are doing.....including me......cos life will even be more difficult if you dun choose to be happy.

it's been a mth since i started on my new full time job......challenging.....i used to love challenges......but somehow.....this time seemed different....hAHahAH

life is so great!

-end-

Got a JOB!

2008-06-16T09:53:00.003+08:00

It's really an irony that I found my second full-time job in mid June. I landed in my first job mid June as well in 2005.

I will be working as a Dental Assistant. This may sound 'low class' but i am definitely going to take pride in it. At least I know this second job of mine is going to be so much better than my previous.

Career prospects? ummm....

A Dental Hygienist.

=)

I do not need to emphasize more on anything. As this is my job and I'm going to face it myself. Finding happiness and sense of satisfaction from this job is going to be my own task. Learning many new and exciting stuff keeps me going. Giving myself 2 months to grasp the basics shall be my utmost priority.

New job description ending soon. Haha...

Lastly, it's a 5-day week job and it's not located in town, CBD or any industrial area. =P

30 mins single bus trip will bring me to my new work place and I'm considered quite well-paid though i'm completely a newbie in healthcare.

The most important thing is that my parents are both very supportive. I'm pretty sure they hated my previous job to the core. It's really a heartache to know that your love ones are feeling heartache over your job.

To summarise, ALL are happy. hahaha.....

4 months 2 weeks since i left my previous job. Part-time relief teacher meanwhile.

It's worth the wait. Since the day i decided to step out of F&B, i'm prepared for all these. I know it's going to be tough getting my next ideal job but i have all the time to source. My parents are still earning and i don't have any financial burden.

Most important of all i have close friends and of course my dear sis and boyfriend who has been very patient. Well, i need to be patient too. =) Glad i had their support all along.

Daddy, Mummy, brother and relatives are very supporting and patient too. None of them asked whether i had found a job already or not as they know this may in turn stress me up. I'm old enough to find my own directions and I'm extremely grateful to my folks. Even if it's going to take up to a year before i secured a full-time job, I strongly believe they will still be there to hold me in case i lose all my patience.

I used to contribute to household expenses as my Daddy has very huge financial responsibility as the head of my family, but since I stopped working full-time, he told me I didn't have to give money anymore. My Mummy even wanted to give me money to spend.

I LOVE them all.....

17th June, my day surgery at SGH. It was postponed (due to menses) from last Tuesday to tomorrow thus building up more anxiety. =(

Partly because of the pain i'm going to get. Mainly because of the process. It's really scary.

I'm strong!

On the outside.

haha....

It's Half a Year Soon

2008-05-28T13:54:00.013+08:00

I can say that it's quite a miracle for me to survive these past 4 months without a definite income. My expenditure was kept at minimal and at times for a few weeks straight, it's at zero.

HAHA.....can you imagine how much I would have saved if I did the same last year for a couple of months?

For more than 2 years, I had worked too hard like a bull or shall I say a dog? But I only managed to save a little. Like barely 2k. Shocked?

Stupid of me to over-spend, I should spend those damn hard-earned money wisely. Such a spendthrift I was! Seriously need to change the way I look at money.

Relief teaching is good as it's a simple and relax job for me. This is definitely true especially that i'm from the gruelling f&b industry before. You know what? I've been feeling rather vexed since the day I decided to tender my resignation. Obviously people come asking me for a reason or two and the reply i gave was, "I need a change of industry."

I thought that was quite an untrue reply now. During those job interviews that I had attended, interviwers like to ask that same question too. I would either be giving the same reply or, depending on my mood, I would say, "I felt that i ought to learn more new things from other industry and face more new challenges to find other potentials in me." So far I only found the passion in f&b though i know that i would never want to end up working in that industry again. Looking forward to a 5-day work week.

No doubt, every job needs you to have that certain amount of passion for it. Like for example, teaching. I felt that during my era, most teachers teach with passion but nowadays, some teachers joined that industry just because it has got damn good money and long fucking holidays.

Ok, I'm sure there are still some passionate teachers, some whom I saw during my work as a relief teacher. There are also some people who spoil the image of a teacher. It's quite sad to walk pass someone who gave you that smirky look with scrutiny. C'mon, cut me some clack cos i'm just a stupid untrained relief teacher. Even when i'm out on the streets or at some public places, strangers didn't even give that look. Toilet cleaners who are mostly uneducated are much well-mannered than them. Suddenly I felt so sad for them, whom they are called teachers, educating the young ones. My mind was like, "teachers big fuck meh."

There is this particular primary school with more than 50% of their teachers behaving in that way. Terrible huh.

But of course, Whitesands Primary School left me a very deep impression during my first day of work there. Principal, Administrators, All Teachers (YES!! All whom i met), Students of all levels (not all but nearly 90% of those whom i met), a handful of parents, the Uncle who took great care of the garden, all Cleaners whom i saw (including 2 China male workers who are quite young, unlike those silly ah bengs i always see in Sg) and the Auntie who locks all classroom doors everyday after school.

ALL of them are so well-mannered, they are smiley and some are so friendly. It definitely made my day as a lonely relief teacher! Sad truth revealed here, I felt like a loner everytime i'm at work. You know no one ma! Teachers are always on the move somemore. How to make interaction? Even if there is, chatting up with me would be the last thing on their minds. The only form of interaction I get is with those pupils. =) Unpleasant most of the times thanks to those extremely ill-mannered, disrespectful and naughty students who love to shout loudly when they talk to one another. Don't be surprised when you hear vulgarities from them like 'nbknnccblj'.

Back to my era again, how many naughty students are there in a class? One or two? The most I think you still can use one hand to count. Now, it's nearly half the class! Sad.

I do hope my future kids will be brought up well-mannered and give no problems to teachers and fellow classmates. Parents these days are spoiling their kids in the most extravagant way. Game consoles, posh handphones, mp3, branded water bottles and schoolbags, etc. During my time, everyday after school I would see lots of parents waiting outside the school. Now, the scene is totally different. Who we saw now? Maids. HAhah. I've been telling myself that I will do my best to teach my future kids the right way but who knows? Maybe they will turn out spoilt and they might turn out to be those problem students in class. HAhahHAha.

Guess i gotta stop this topic. It's going to be endless.

10th June 2008, i'm going for a day surgery at SGH. My 2nd time since 2001 at TTSH. Doctor told me it's going to be a simpler surgery as compared but the funny thing is, i'm more worried now than last time and the sense of anxiety is too high. I don't remember feeling as scared that time. Maybe that's the difference between a 25 years old and 18 (daredevil).

My maternal Grandma passed away at Hospital Sultan Ismail at Johor Jaya last Tuesday 20th May 2008. She was admitted after a stroke on 1st May 2008 and on the 18th I went to visit her at the hospital. She looked like she's in pain though when i asked she told us she wasn't. I know she must had felt immense pain and those weeks there are nothing but sufferings. Maybe if she was warded in SG, things might be better. Whole ward only one nurse I saw and no one helped her to change diapers and wipe her face and help clean up. Family members are EXPECTED to come by 2-3 times per day to help feeding and cleaning. No wonder bills are so cheap. The service and care received are so justified with the amount we paid. There was also an infected wound on her right arm where jabs were very often given at that spot. Scary huh?

Since my paternal Grandpa passed away when i was 7, this was the 2nd time for me to be involved in a wake. Being able to be there and to send my Grandma off is the last thing I can do for her. She loved to play the harmonica and i remembered buying her one at Bras Basah Complex few years ago. She was so touched when she received it. During CNY this year, she told me about this particular brand of harmonica which is made in germany. She said it's very good and that she could play more tunes with much higher and lower pitch. I was at Bras Basah but it cost more than $200. I had decided to buy it for her when I get my first pay after i got a full time job. Everything's too late. She did not wait for me. But i'm glad she did not need to suffer more pain especially at the age of 79. Intracranial bleeding is the reason of death on her death cert. (Intracranial bleeding occurs when a blood vessel in the head is ruptured or leaks). =(

My paternal Grandma, who is frequently admitting in and out of TTSH had fallen too ill this time. Doctor even suggested to us to stop giving her dialysis. =( It's been a month since her brain was infected and no matter what medicine or dosage the doctors have been giving her, she is deemed as uncurable. Her diabetes and kidneys are bad enough but now she felt more ill than before. Seeing her in pain even when she's asleep pains me. She has got very low pain threshold and this is the first time I didn't hear her complaining that she's in pain. She did not even whine or moan anymore. It's really a heartache. She's 74 yet going through all those pain whom no one can imagine. Daddy and fellow Aunts decided to let her have dialysis for the next two weeks. What I heard from the doctor is that she might only survive 1 week after dialysis is stopped but there are rare cases where patients struggle under morphine for 2-3 months.

It's been nearly 2 hours since i started blogging. gtg.

Meeting a good friend from secondary school for dinner. She wanted to go obar after dinner with one more secondary school friend. Guess I won't be going. Totally lost interest in clubbing already. Or is it the alcohol? Maybe it's the company? hahah....no idea.

durian hair money

2008-04-08T20:02:00.005+08:00

a quarter year flew past....

turning mid twenty this year...

felt nothing achieved significantly....

there i go again....

anyway....got another dressing down by my Daddy again this evening...

his van.....manual geared.....

still very difficult for me to handle.....

and it was raining like damn heavily just now ard 5pm at sengkang....

on our way to fetch granny from dialysis centre......

and if i'm not wrong....it's my very first time driving my dad's on a fateful rainy day...ha...

alright alright....excuses...i know.....and the radio was tuned to 100.3fm......the 2 female DJs were talking about the price hike of learning driving and their past experiences on learning driving and even driving......i was laughing away with my dad....haha......

have to admit guys do better than girls in driving.....well.....i meant slightly...hAHahHA

ordered a 800gm durian cake from Jane's Cake shop at jalan kayu.......it's only at $38.....

well....i must say my family and I love durian very much and had tried many durian cakes b4.....angie's standard dropped alot......and emicakes are still the best.....lol....but.....wad the hell man....it's EXPENSIVE.....!!!

heard from my bf that the durian cake at Jane's is good.....so made the order there......heh.....birthday cake for him......sort of like a surprise....hahHA.....NAH~

he don't read my blog...haHAHa

having more and more bad hair days like never before......

hair has always been one of my greatest concern.......cos i've got no great figure and no good looks to begin with.....so if my hair looks dreadful.....ha.....den it'll be hell man.......

what's more......bf loves my hair....heh....

ummmm......suddenly i felt myself beginning to love money even more.....as in evil aspect kinda....

*shrugz...

who don't

cancer

2008-03-11T02:52:00.002+08:00

anyway......for those who didn't know that i ever had a lump like 20 cent big removed in yr 2000.......and for nearly one mth i live in stress that it may be cancerous......obviously it wasn't la.....HAHahHA.....

now...nearly 8 yrs later.......a 2nd lump appeared.........smaller in size but much nearer to my nipple.....

going to consult a breast specialist soon.... =)

was hurt real deep just now...like 2 hrs back......teared non-stop since den........

and that i suddenly had this stupid thought 5 mins ago....

that is...

i hope this 2nd lump is cancerous........

yeah....like i mentioned....STUPID thought........i still have my frds and family who wont complain me spending too much time with them......they will only complain that i did not spend time with them........

i was really shocked..........the pain in my heart.......

as in i really can feel it.......for those who was once hurt deep b4 would understand what i felt.....

i love him.....and i really do......

it's nearly ten yrs!

2008-03-06T15:29:00.003+08:00

looking back into the past....

browsing through those old photos.....

surfing frds' profiles on frdstr.....

their recent pictures......

i've got one very close frd.......we were in sec 3...let's name her C..she lives near our sec sch and very often we hanged out together after sch near or at her hse.....till she moved to sk.....we got even closer.....

she's a very quiet but outgoing girl.....seems pretty contradicting huh? we shared our darkest secrets together........was really bestest frds

we assumed that we're the only best frds together......when i'm too close to another girl in class.......she would be unhappy......and when she's too close to another girl in class......i would get angry.....

that's how our relationship was.....eh....not lesbianic terms k....she's got a bf that time and i was holding a torch for a senior in sch....hAHha

nearly ten yrs ago so i vaguely remember the details.....

i got close to some other girls in class and she being the quiet type got upset and felt lonely....2 very gd frds in class....F and M who were alwiz in their own world and own frequency started to interact and eventually got close to her......when i wanted to get back together with C.....she totally ignored me.......after some time she did tried to salvage our relationship but i find that she's closer to those 2 girls.......who were there during most of her downtimes.........

ummmm....or isit i got back with J and P that period? thus neglecting C?

J and P were my closest frds too......somehow i got drifted apart from them partly because of me failing my yr......retained.....

till now......J and P are still best frds.......they were both in my frds list in frdstr......ironic huh......lol......totally not in contact at all but were found on my frdstr.......

C is not in my frds list......cos somehow i cant locate her profile......i found F and she's on my list yrs back.....she took a course in TP when i was still there......and she's living in sk too......somehow......we chatted when i met her in sch and sometimes saw her on the bus......i used to dislike her for snatching away C......hAHahA....but cmon...those were the days......the teenage yrs......we were all like still 14 or 15....hAHha....her bestie M is still her bestie.......i just added her to my list......cos her profile name is not her real name......so did not manage to locate her earlier.....

saw some pictures of F and found C in it.......=)

whenever i think of her......it's alwiz those times when we were the closest.......unlike yrs back.....all i have for her is hatred....hAHha....teenage hatred la......hAHhahAHha......she ditched me and things like that.......she dun wan me as a frd forever..BLAHBLAHBLAHblahblah

i wonder how she's doing.......and seriously wanted to know how she felt about me now......but it all seemed pretty awkward huh.....

HAhahA......we're 25 this yr.......it's really almost TEN YEARS!!!!!

i cant seem to hold on to my good frds........i've got quite a couple of best frds in pri sch.....none in contact anymore.......frdstr in my list yes...hAHha

even those that i've mentioned above in sec sch........none in contact........throughout those rough times in sec sch in terms of frdshp.....my sis Jolene turned out to be the one standing......

hAHahA.....she's my only sec sch frd in contact now.....

poly?

WORSE......

only Peifang.....hAHahHAHa

cmon ppl....laugh at me.....i'm such a loser.......

i mean there are frds in my past schs chatting up with me yes....on msn....and they're all in my frdstr.......but then again.....who cares abt ur frdstr......lol.......i've got 400 over frds in my list and ALL are people whom i've met b4......pri mates......sec mates.....poly mates.....internship mates.......ex colleagues...acquaintance....blahblahblah.......unbelieveable huh.....

hAHahHA

recalling my 21st birthday celebration......so many frds turned up......i was damn touched but i've only got 2 frds whom i call them 'friends'

if u get wad i mean huh......

ummmm.....

enuf said.....

it's been quite a long entry today.....heh.......

i love all my er yi (mum's 2nd younger sis)

i love my ah yi (mum's 3rd younger sis)

i love my xiao yi (mum's youngest sis)

*apparently my mum's the eldest sis

all 3 younger sisters of my mum's dote on me so much......i was looking through old photos and thinking back abt the past......when my gor and i was still very young.....they alwiz buy things for us.....bring us go gaigai(jalan jalan/ shopping) and took great care of us......attend our birthdays since very young.....now that we both are grown ups.......things seemed different.......

er yi is a workaholic.......my mum says she did not even call back when my mum gave her a missed call on her hp.....busy busy.....i miss her.....

ah yi lives in boon lay with her 3 boys.......my yi zang (uncle) passed away on the year i turned 21..which is 2004.....in december....

life has been hard on my ah yi.......she's strong i know......and everytime i visit her she'll be as cheerful as alwiz........but i know deep down she's holding on to her pain......especially when her eldest son can't seem to be good......he's her greatest worry now....if only she still lives in pasir ris which is like one 20 min bus trip away from sk.....well...she lives there when her kids are young......seriously dun like the idea when they decided to move to the extreme west.....boon lay -_-

my xiao yi lives with yi zang in JB......together with my wai po (maternal granny) and her 2 kids........she's a workaholic as well........ummmm......not very close to her since my teenage yrs......she's a malaysian ma......hardly have time to visit her......only CNY.....

shall stop here.......buttock pain sia....HAHa......nearly an hour!
lol.......

i'm BAck!

2008-02-06T05:42:00.000+08:00

just one entry ok.....as in not really "i'm back" to post regular...hAHha

updates!!!

juicy onez!

i passed my tp test last nov!!! on da 23rd i think.....hehe.....

first attempt......sorry...but i'm gonna brag abit here...hAHahhA...once in a lifetime ma......must yayapapaya ma....hAHha....fyi....i passed my btt and ftt on the first attempts too~!!!

=PpPPp

spent ard 1k only.....heh....took private.....from this super nice uncle....Mr Ng.....at cdc.....the one at ubi.....anyone intersted to learn from him can let me know....heh.....cos i passed with 6 demerit points!! he said among his 27 yrs of instructing.....i'm ranked number 2!!!! omg....damn hao lian sia me....muAHHahAH

started his lessons from early may till my test date......ard 7 mths....

damn proud....=P

but then again....no car to drive eh....hAHha

ummmmm.....daddy was so sweet to drive his van down...bought p plate from cdc and put it up so that i could drive home!

i didn't even mention that i was transferred to millenia walk from bugis......that's really a long time since i last blog.....

finally got a chance to open and set up new boutique.....it was really a good one.....experience up!

having to work with a fun team just like the one at bugis......

glad....satisfied.....

but still....i felt immense hatred.....

towards f&b......

i loved this job so much......the passion the drive the hard work the sense of achievement and all....

nearly 3 yrs working full time.....in f&b...

guess it's time to move on......

gotten out from this line since last mth......gonna enjoy the cny season den source for my next ideal job......

kinda aimless though......=(

it's cny's eve today...time flies man......

ohh.......i'm currently in love with my guy......

yes...i'm attached.....for those ppl who did not view my frdstr account......

everything will be fine and nice for us alright.......

*prays hard*

wow!!!

6am!!!

hAHahhA......gtg.......till den

meaningless

2007-09-28T13:48:00.000+08:00

and i thought wad i had sent is an air mail.....i double checked with the counter lady at singpost.....

turned out........it took one whole freaking mth to reach the other side of the world......lol

therefore....i dun feel any excitement anymore......

the feeling simply died off.........if it only needs 6-8 days as quoted by that counter lady......

i might feel better.....

surface mail.......wad sia.......cant trust singpost le.....ha......

did i mention earlier that one of my frds actually bought mooncakies for me? i even went overboard to choose wad flavour i want....hAhahAH.....

HE SAID HE'S FINE MA.....

not that i'm a meanie.....

ummmm....i guess i needa switch to another blogsite......getting more and more private...hAHhaha......

down times

2007-09-25T17:43:00.001+08:00

yet again.....it's one of those days......

felt so small......

so bad.......

so sad....

so down......

dnd mode*

ic-sized photo

2007-09-24T13:03:00.000+08:00

i don't like ic-sized photos~

cos most of the times.....it turned out hideous.....lol

only once i rem......that i love it so much....i thought i kept it properly.......specially for my long awaited class 3 licence........

turned out.......i misplaced it.....hAHhahA

SO.....

i'm going to compasspoint.......to take it.......dylan said the one at basement is quite patient.....lol....and i thought can take le not nice del take le not nice del....hAHhahAHa

mummy's strucked with gastric flu yesterday..........terrible.......i still rem last yr hari raya puasa....ohh......it's nearly a yr ago! yeah....i kena gastric flu but still gotta run baby.......cold sweat........giddy.....nauseatic..........cannot take it man.........worked with bryan and jason......luckily............

k.....going for my shower and and put on my face....as in make up......and i shall go off........and take very nice ic-sized photo!!!!!!!!

hAHhahHA

decisions

2007-09-23T03:57:00.000+08:00

i dun like to make decisions.....other den at wrk of cos

but many times.....i'm forced to do so....

arghh....hate it......

anyway.......nice happy day for me....even at work.....it's all-so-nice!!

suddenly felt sooooo tired......time for beddie.....

everything seemed so nice.....

2007-09-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

but not anymore now....

all funny things keep happening.....

when i need that someone to be there.....he's no longer there.........not there......or is it cos....he's nv there.....

when i really needa shout out loud.......those ppl ard me are not those who i wanted to share my probs with................

when things go wrong......some friends whom i thought i'm not close with......are willing to be there....i mean physically.....alwiz there.......to give company and all ears....

to conclude......

i'm vexed....followed by cant-be-bothered......

things have nv been going well for me....at least not for long.....

see wad happened now.......

can it b undone?

2007-09-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

some things.....

happened for a reason.....

feeling bad over something i've done..........

really bad......

but fuck it.....

cant do anything abt it............

i used to think that such things will nv happen to me....

but it came true....

remorseful........?

wad can i do......

nth can change the fact

unplanned leave

2007-09-16T13:27:00.001+08:00

i'm clearing my 2006's annual leave....

has got 14days........this week cleared 3 only.........sad......

i've got a feeling it wont be cleared......

lol.....

it's our entitlement.........i'll try my best to clear for all of us b4 it gets forfeited by this yr end..........

sad thing is.....no plans.........lol.......it's like a sudden thing......i did that to 2 of my colleagues too.......but for the very least..........it's a gd rest.........

it's been a yr since i last enjoyed a holiday...........guess ppl from my line dun really get the luxury of planning for holidays and really going for one long break as long as 10 days or so.....

lol......

ok......enough said......

test date drawing nearer and nearer.......i still find myself lacking lots......

and wasting lots of $$$....

my vocal took a change this morning..........

i woke up sounding like a bapok (transvestite)

hAHahHA.....seriously......

i called boutique first thing when i woke up and got a shocked when i said "hello..."

HAHahHA

swallowed lots and lots of water already............lol....gonna flood myself........staying home this lovely and cooling sunday with my family.......a way to recuperate too......

leaking badly

2007-09-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

i lost my temper again.......

cos of the stupid non-stop bad leak from my lousy and old air con..............

it dripped water like every 3 seconds.....

wtf

and directly below that useless thing.....

are my drawers........

i have this habit of opening drawers without closing them......maybe without closing fully.....

and this is the second time one of my drawers collected water from that damned water dripping thiong

horrendous

2007-09-05T23:21:00.000+08:00

for the first time......i hated driving...........

for the first time i feel like cancelling the lesson........

for the first time i was scolded upteen times by my instructor........

for the first time i dun feel any excitement and thrill when i drive..............

for the first time the vehicle rolled backwards drastically when i attempted to move off from slope.......

for the first time i mount kerb after moving out from my vertical parking....

for the first time my vehicle was damn out of place after i did parallel parking........

for the first time my instructor downed my gear............

for the first time i nearly rubbed against a parked vehicle by the roadside while driving outside the centre................

and then i realized......for the first time.............i cant find my heart to drive..............

at least i learnt something from all these............

no matter what i do................i must have the heart...............

yeah.................

no heart today.................

WHY?!!!

LOL.............

forget it.................

feeling low................

tml's morning shift................

luckily my mood was heightened during dinner time...........

met 3 of my colleagues for dinner at han's river at eastpoint mall.......

before meeting up with them i was at the pet safari.............

awwwwwwwwwwwww....

i love poodles.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sho cuttteeee!!!

hehe.......

i smiled for the first time today............

when i saw the cutie..................

too bad my family dont like doggies................

i'm gonna have one in future!

provided my future hubby loves them too la..........

but i believe as long as i like........he'll like it too...

hHAHahHA

selfish............

=PpPP

have so much fun laughing and chatting and eating just now................

too alot of pics too!!

hAHahHA......

OH YEAH

i trimmed my hair.................

still long but not as long!

and did hair treatment as well.....

soft and smooth now!

well.....i think it'll only last for around 2 weeks the most......

bought contact lens......

that kinda lenses which will enhance ur pupil.............as in the black colour part of ur eye will appear bigger!!!

WA....................powerful man this one............

drastic different..........

but it seemed that my colleagues did not notice them at all....HAHhahA

next week driving lesson will be fun!

i'll get my heart back by then....i'm sure

pragmatism

2007-08-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

this word flashed across my mind.....

but i'm not gonna blog abt anything related to that......

vacuous mind now......

i need to be more serious during my driving lessons.....especially when i'm in the circuit.....first experience in CDC's circuit.......was so fun.....

i'm getting those headaches again.............

getting more and more erratic too

i'm wearing my mega big plastic shades now.......cos i felt there's something coming out from my monitor.....lol......eh....not sadako or wad la......head pain la!

k....i better go lie down awhile.....

ummm....my precious off day's gone just like that.........

heh...looking forward to my next.........cos i'll be going into the circuit to 'play' again!!!~~~~

untitled....

2007-08-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

here u go silentboi....lol

updates huh....

worked and worked lo...morning shifts all the way......early early knock out on bed liao.....

figured out my thoughts finally.....i guess that's the major issue.

regarding that minor controversy...............

no point talking abt that.....

anyway......

went post office to send out a letter for a new virtual frd.......

finally got a chance to pen my thoughts freely........without reserves......

dun noe what gave impetus to me........which spurs me up to literally write a letter of 3 pages........(erm..big fonts and small letter pad la)...........to someone i barely know....lol

i need that sense of freedom very much...........

i'm feeling cranky nowadays.....

i make decisions within the shortest time available.......................

i dun reconsider.....no 2nd thoughts................

hAHahHA

i've got no idea what i'm trying to say here.....no one will ever understand how i feel now........

it's 12am.....time for beddie.......

cos tml's another morning shift.....heh........den wed my offday!!!

so looking forward.....

i'm gonna have my drving lesson in the circuit!!

1st time~~!

no kerb hitting pls.........God bless~!!

hot or cold?

2007-08-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

lol....forget it...i'm not going to harp on this issue anymore....

simply hate it when i'm getting both hot and cold treatments from the same person at the same period of time!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

get out of my life!!!!

ummm....

before that.....gotta get them out of my mind first....

haHha......

which is pretty much tough......yet....i'm confident......as time is always the best medicine....

and as i've mentioned......

work is the best solution as well.....

i'll jus need to bury my whole head and mind and soul into work....

that's it man.....

ummm

went KK........but wasted trip......

on medication now......hope it'll get better and that it's nothing related to any deadly diseases.........................

i'm damn worried................

the pain was excruciating...............

so much so that i thought i would just lose consciousness

a yr ago i had a report regarding this issue.......

so i thought this doctor could take a look at it...

i was already not feeling good.....weak and all....so i took out the report from my bag and asked if it's normal.... i never show it to anyone else.....not even a doctor..........

that idiotic doc laughed it off and said......."what u mean by 'normal'? it's pretty obvious that this isn't anything good since u're here sitting down with me holding that report which showed positive of the infection! Cmon.....i think u had better start asking the correct questions"

CCB

i frequent that clinic yes.....but had only saw 2 other doctors regularly......not this asshole.....

i refused to digest what he had said to me.............

since a yr ago i have been avoiding............i dun wanna face it...............

and here he is.........HAHahHAHah...............

i felt devastated..............

wads worse....................

i've got no one to talk to regarding my condition....................

and the one whois constantly on my mind.........................

neglected me for the whole day...................

worst...............

THE WORST thing................

hHaHA

nth le la....i'm fine la....fuck it......

flown past~

2007-08-21T01:35:00.000+08:00

back to work in less than 12 hrs......

finishing up my work.....

feeling really tired now.....

needa shower again.....

energize ma....

i still have got 24 days of AL to clear....14 days are from last yr......entitled to 14 days per yr ma......

so can u imagine i did not clear any ALs last yr???

that's what u get when u're in my line......no choice.....sometimes i would rather they convert these ALs into $$$$

lOl......ummmm...i think should be 'donedable' right?

hAHhahA

who dun care abt $$ in this world?

i'm getting more and more straightforward.....shitz.......gotta ctrl!

but i dun feel good when i'm pissed but gotta act like i'm ok.......

cos i've already got enuf of these shitz when i'm at work........stucked up customers behaviour.......i gotta face them smiling and patiently and with empathy......apologising to them repeatedly.......but let's make this clear.......apologising doesn't mean we're at fault yeah.....

okok....enuf crapz........

currently......kinda obsessed.........whole mind infested.......can't wait to start work and be as busy.....

shall i take the first move or wait like what i've been doing always?

i cant!!!!

Leonard i cant la.....

oh...Leonard's my good frd whois kinda like a walking textbook....lol.....

titled...................

'all abt men'

HAHahHAHa

very often he gives advice to me and of cos to alot of other ppl......

alrighty.....time for a chilly shower.......

i'll blog soon.........provided i'm FREE....(start work liao ma)

it's been a long time

2007-08-19T14:03:00.001+08:00

dead drunk last night......

luckily hangover not that deadly....

i've got so much thoughts in my mind right now....

yet i chose to keep it all to myself....

it's a sickening feeling.....

ha.....one thing i must mention.....

that is......i woke up a few hrs later to take a shower.....

i guess i drop dead on my bed once i got home.....

subconsciously.....i knew i NEED to get myself up

if not today sure drama mama....

"wa....go drinking till u no need to bath ar....so drunk ar....u lady eh...drink till like that......wads so nice abt drinking........ar! u went smoking again ar? if not y u reek of smoke and alcohol smells?"

zzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ya......i alwiz make sure diedie no matter how drunk.......i needa wash up and act like nth happened.......heh....if not parents sure nagnagnagnagnagnag..................................

tues going back to work.......

lots of work undone........

well.....should be ok....cos i'm alwiz doing things at the very last min ma.....

hAHahHA.....

oh.......last night i was like missing frog so much..........but ended end playing hard at mos drunk.....

not really drunk.....cos i still can walk by myself........i still know wad i did........just that most actions are out of control......

these are the wonders of alcohol huh......

hAHahHA......

if u're not all out to play......if u're also not all out to be serious.......den y things like these happen?

for no reason?

i've been pondering over this for the past few days....

hAHahHAHahAHhahHAHa

haHAH

BYE

feelings

2007-08-17T02:09:00.000+08:00

certain actions involves feeling......but certain actions are just done without any reason

certain action stirs up feelings to the other party......but the other party can also choose not to be bothered abt it....

no big deal man Kevlyn.....

some things just happen for no reason......

stop wasting ur time thinking on such

haHAHah

watched rush hour 3

freaking funny.....i laughed my way through.....silly show though

arghghghgh

i thought i could laugh away those polutions in my mind........

i dun feel good!!!!

but.....

nth helps

gonna slp......hope this helps

"Kinship" aka "Shou Zu"

2007-08-13T02:20:00.000+08:00

i'm catching this show....

watching every episode.......

leading male actor is my fav....ha....Elvin Ng!!!

http://ch8.mediacorptv.com/kinship/video2.htm

click onto the clip titled "i'm abit fat actually"

hAHahHA....he's so cute!~!!!

melted immediately sia.......laughing in a silly manner while watching....

such a hunk.....

or shall i say just another hunk?

HAhahHA.......intangible la.....

so just let me go yaya over him can.....just for this while only ma.....

haha

took panadol an hr ago.......now my headache's gone......gd!

looking forward to my freedom after 26 mths.......

so many things i'm gonna do!

ok......needa slp.......

sudden urge

2007-08-11T05:46:00.000+08:00

i wanna get out of singapore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of cos for a holiday.....a short trip to elsewhere.....

KL??

best choice so far......if no one accompany......i'll go alone.....

i'm so fine with it man...................

i'm finally freed!!!!

ok done...decided.......

new phase

2007-08-08T03:02:00.003+08:00

but most probably won't be starting anytime too soon....

i'm fickle and picky and lazy remember?

ha....

to work 6 hrs per day......earning almost 11 bucks every hr is a part time luxury for me.......

wads best......it's just next to my block.....muAHhahAH

*yawnz*

i'm slpy.......

one more week of lethargy and i'm gonna kick start a new regime

any takers to company? ha

2007-08-08T03:02:00.001+08:00

loving myself

2007-07-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

for a start......

here....

i mean i shall start from here.....now.....at 5:19pm 11thJuly 2007....

that is to love myself.....

i know i've got a fucking temper.....too much of an attitude....which very often becomes a problem.....

i got affected by stupid things easily......though most of the times i do not show.....

yrs ago.....i show it all....

i jnow my nose is big and flat and ugly......

i know my brows are somewhat hairless.....

i know i'm growing fatter each and everyday now......

i know i've got lousy skin.....so sensitive that even my legs are affected.......that explained why i'm always covered up in jeans and pants......

it's been yrs since i last wore a skirt/dress

and of cos...many many more negativity of me.....

try as i might........

halfway succeeding and some of them curbed.......and kicked......

i still do possess a handful of disgusting points........

these few weeks it's getting on my nerves......

i started to hate myself so much till a point where i cried so hard.....

guess it's menses.......lol

i pushed the blame yet again.....

the good thing is.....at the end of the day.......which is pretty much now......

yes NOW......

erm 5:22pm 11thJuly 2007........

thoughts are sorted out......

take things easy huh....i'm no saint or angel.......nor even God......

changes do happen but everything needs time......

like what i always say......everything needs to wait.........nothing in this world is gotten immediate......

even a normal house brew needs a min to be prepared......from the time when the barista pressed the button on the coffee machine till it's done

ummmm..........

ok....enough said......lol

i'm back from driving lesson~!!

excited as always........

i need more practice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

getting the hang of it everytime i'm on the wheels......

heh.......reverse parking~!~!

well.....like what a friend had said......i still have a long way to go man.....

so many things not learnt yet....

zzzz

heh.....nvm......i'm already so glad till stage....=pPPp

i've been over-binged lately......

resulting in drastic weight gain.....

fuck!

for weeks that i curb my appetite.....i lose barely a few kilos.....

but when i do not curb for even a few days......

HAHahAHHahA

ummm........do you know that women who have better figure can gain unfair advantage in society?

well......i cant imagine how much i can do if i were to lose 10kilos....

wtf

see...there i go again......

oh......

only know how to say.....say only ma......who on earth cant do it?

lol

till next time peepz ~bye~

jaws wide opened

2007-06-15T03:19:00.000+08:00

got to know some shocking but funny and a lil kinda unbelievable truth.....

hAHhahAHha

i left one of my ex bf when i was around 18........

ard a yr later....he ended up with this H girl......

when i was 21.........i left this guy..........

now........the first mentioned ex bf is single.......heard he lasted with H for a yr or 2.......

now.......

lol.....

now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i found out that H is with my ex bf again....the one whom i left when i was 21..............

WTF

HahAHhahA

wad a small world?

H and me are damn fated huh.......

well......msn still down........anyway.......turning in now.....

good nitey......

HAhahAHAhHA

MY JAWS ARE CLOSED LE LA.......

just felt that it's really funny......

the kinda 'wtf' feeling......hAHahha....

my msn down

2007-06-13T01:41:00.001+08:00

the last thing u would ever imagine happening to yourself...........

msn down......wtf.......

time really flies huh.......

now that i have counted........it's been nearly a month since i stopped accessing to msn.........lol

ONE FREAKING MONTH!!!

whizzed through just like that without me knowing it........

i felt so bad.......

felt like an alien........from another planet............

not able to chat with my frds.......

i used to log on msn almost everyday.....

HAHahhA

and now it's been a mth

but.....

i come to realize one thing.....

no one bothers abt my existence in that virtual world......

even my real life frds.......those who chat with me everyday.......or maybe 1 to 6 times per week.......

hAHahHAHahHAHa

so i am so damn dispensable........hard truth......still trying hard to accept....

hAHhahA

it's so damn fine actually.......

they cant find me on msn......they can reach me via hp......

but none of them chose to.......

ummm.....

well....i'm getting all cranky again.....

not all la.......but majority!!!!!!

maybe i'm not a good frd......not a nice girl.......and that i'm simply someone who irks ppl off.....

thats why huh.....heh

fine...enough of msn.....fucking irritated.....

I CANT ACCESS TO MSN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHGHGHGHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nvm

.

now.....some flashback....

i was at zouk 16th may 07 wed....

saw G.....if i remember correctly....he still owes me 70 or 80 bucks......that loser.....

well.....or is it me? stupid enough to loan $ to him.....lol

i was kinda high on alcohol....that's y i did not approach him or any other form of acknowledgement......

even if i'm sober enough.....i doubt i'll do so.......

what if he feign ignorance and acted like he don't know me at all?

and what if he really cant recall who am i?

hAHahahHA

G's my ex bf......my first bf who is younger.......by 2 yrs......

stupid decision yeah......maybe i was still young too

must be.....

lol

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO BE UPDATED........BUT I'M PLAIN LAZY.........

learning driving at tamp later at 2pm.....heh.......so excited.....

my only goal now is to attain my class 3 asap....

firstly.....my 25th June 07 FTT must pass ma!!!!

hAHahHAHa

so fast 25th jun coming!!!!

msn down

2007-06-13T01:15:00.000+08:00

always not the way that we want

2007-05-24T01:51:00.000+08:00

year after year.....

time and again.....i'm stucked in my own world.....

stay this way.....

is what's best for sure.....still...i cant help but to think.....that i will be good if we both end up together.....

impossible......

he will forever be my crush......since sec one.....we're frds.......even till now.....the feeling is still great.....lol

but yeah.....i'm his best female frd..he's my best male frd...nth more......nth less too...=P

it's his birthday soon......

gift already bought.....like past yrs.......it's always a *** related thingy.....

this is my public blog........but im so damn sure he wont be here

cos he's just him......

know him too well....the cant-be-bothered-attitude.......

last night...he asked again.......if i have got a bf.........

why should he bother?

jokingly told him i'm still waiting for him.......

and he said we're frds for more than ten yrs......if i were to like him.....y only now....

i'm lost for words......i cant ans him.......

i still choose to hide.... y cant he just believe me? maybe he's acting blur.....cos he dun wanna sacrifice this frdshp too.....

hAHahHHah

well......i cancelled my driving lesson today...crap.....

guess that the money meant for the lesson can be better utilised.....

LOL

cos i'm so damn broke....

sometimes i just think that i might die from dehydration

i'm not consuming enough water......

barely enough.....

sometimes not even a glassful

hAHahHAHa

and i thought i wanna lose weight?

i always get so tired when i have enough sleep.........

and if i dun get enough sleep...i'm tired as well

so y sleep enough?

hahHAHa

get what i mean?

anyway

i think i'm kinda material......

that's y i'm still left on the shelf......

too picky?

i dont really think so......

enough crapz.....

time for bed.....it's the yucky weekend coming again.....

non-stop hitz

busy Busy BUSY!!

talented...

2007-05-01T15:30:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQcuQsD587M&mode=related&search=

cut and paste this link....... including the last = there......

and look at how he enjoyed doing the whole thing......awwww....his level of concentration and all........i like

hAHhahA.....this one's piano..............

PRO...........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neAiLZcy8Qk

MY JAWS WIDE OPENED INDEED......

kinda shocked

2007-04-28T04:03:00.000+08:00

i was at work.....this lovely girl.....should be 18 or 19......was all smiley.....she's one of my customer.....suddenly she asked a favour from me....

HAHahAH

"can i take a picture with u?"

i was like "huh?"

she immediately.......said...."cos u look so much like my frd......i hope u can take a picture with me so i can show it to her...."

so.....one of her frd took a picture of this lovely girl and me using lovely girl's hp.....lovely girl's like laughing non-stop........and she kept telling me that me and her frd look the same....lol......

after awhile.....she showed me a picture of her frd and herself............

.............................................................

i was shocked

we are like sisters.......so alike.......maybe i'm meatier.....oh well....i mean fatter.....lol.....and her complexion is way better........

i took a second look and gasped a little......

lovely girl was like "look alike hor? HAHahHAhahAHa......omg.....must really show it to her man..."

now...thinking back......i shld have asked her to send me that picture......and i post it up here......

it's amazingly identical......

i wanna know this girl!!!!!

well....too late.....lol.....

booked~!

2007-04-13T05:23:00.000+08:00

heh........just logged out from cdc's webby......

as i had previously made a payment over there for my FTT (Final Theory Test)......

ummm.......booked a trial test on next fri.....8pm......most probably i'll be on morning shift.......so should be ok.....

next.....the real FTT.....

LoL!!!! today's only 13th Apr can.......yet the earliest booking date for FTT is on 21st Jun..therefore i had booked also.......not on 21st la.......it's on 25th Jun.....mon.....6:45pm......when the time comes......i will be requesting to work morning too.......

thinking back.....i really had wasted my time at poly sia.....shld have used those FREE TIME to attain my licence right........unlike now......gotta find time also hard.......tired somemore......

nvm la......i'm gonna get it.......i need confidence!!!!!

k....late.....gonna turn in.....good night

PDL!

2007-04-13T03:30:00.000+08:00

got myself a pdl......finally.....

lol.....i know it's only a provisional driving licence......

but at least like wad my cousin had said........it's a good start!

lol.......ever since 5 yrs ago........the laziness in me had stopped me from pursuing my class 3 licence!!

it's easy to book for basic and advance theories but when it comes to practical......i've lost the sense of urgency....lol

got myself a pte instructor.......from frog.....and will be retaking my advance theory test at ubi....paid already but have yet to book for test date......

ummm....i miss joseph.......miss calling him dst.......miss his act-like-real-chikopekness.........miss him telling me off when my temper flared up......miss riding on his spark z.......miss the day when i accompanied him to his mum's altar......miss those jb trips.......miss the day when i created his very own frdstr profile on his behalf.....even till now.....the 'about me' section......has not been changed......all typed by me....

now that he's gone to another place.......no longer here for me......no longer here for his love ones.....

his frdstr is still active....i guess it's his brothers or maybe gf........

i re-read my testi for him.......tears flowed......

i re-read his testi for me......and it continued to flow.....

"always take care n control ur temper.".....last sentence in his testi for me

for u and myself.....i'll try.......cos whenever i flared up......u'll be on my mind.....telling me not to not to.......

bro....u're the best.......

always in my heart.......

though we cannot grow old together.......u'll be in my heart till i grow old.....

seriously missing a great friend like u deeply.....

feeling it for him

2007-04-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

i've got a nice friend.......he's not handsome....

he's not tall........shorter than me........

but he's a really great friend.....

he's somehow getting more inferior.......when i got to know him....which is around 2 yrs back......he's cheerful and happy-go-lucky.........but now....

he's not looking down on himself.....he just felt bad.......over some idiot......whom he thought can be forgiven.......cos he told me he understood how that idiot felt......judging one by their appearance......total change of attitude before and after seeing my friend.......lOl......though i nv see that idiot b4........i can view from her pics that she's not a babe at all.......even if she's a babe......it's only the exterior.......inside is totally rotten......

that explains why i'm so angry over nothing......nothing concerning me....lol

and another thing has to happen at the same time to me.........

argh....

anyway i dont really care now.....

buzz off!

2007-04-07T23:36:00.000+08:00

lOl.......

cut the crapz.....

some ppl are that pathetic......

i dun need such friend........opps.....not meaning friend there.........what i wanna say is i dun need such irritant....wasting my time.......

and to think that i'm so willing to accept a new frd.....

wads with some ppl?

shut the fuck up.........

i'm that violent and vulgar and rough and fierce.......get off my life......

wads with me wasting time and energy over.......wad?~!!!~!

some immature beings

i'm no longer 16 or 17 small girl.......who will fucking care and got all so angry be this issue.....

though i was really kinda pissed right now.......

and the funniest thing is.......

i did not even mentioned names......

did i not?

guilty-conscious must be the word.....lol

some things can be seen in jus a day or two.......it's a woman's instinct i guess.....

stop denying and just admit u're one of those kind.........immature kind?

good luck in searching ur wonderful gentle demure angel......

even if u do found........they wont belong to u.......nv will....

that's my curse to u.....

ha.....

*FULL STOP*

ummm...umm

2007-03-31T14:39:00.000+08:00

how depressing....

rejected again...lOl....by moe...

yrs ago it was a big envelope with even bigger disappointment.....

now they sent a normal sized envelope like that of my m1 bill envelope.....

but the disappointment level is equally high.....lOl......

can anyone tell me why i'm not chosen? not selected? not given a chance to teach?

passion not that great but cmon.......let me noe why ma.......ha...i've got one frd's frd......tried for 5 times den get sia......lOl.....one yr try once......

but why?~!

nvm.....anyway....when i log on to blogspot....or rather google......i can access to both my blogs......

the private one and this.....was wondering if anyone has access to my private blog.....

dun think so huh....heh......if u do....let me know......

frdshp.....fragile.......takes both hands to clap too......

as far as i know...i had tried too much.......rejection is one of my biggest fear......but i got it too many times from her.......no one had ever done this to me that many times b4.......

as time goes by......the importance of hearing from her or whether i'll be rejected again doesn't seem that crucial......numb.....yeah....thats the word.......guess she dun need me......having her family and other frds and colleagues and bf by her side is enough and vital for her own living.....

so wad if i've got lots of frds........i guess those who's really there for me...and to keep me companied and be by my side is not available.......

it's not abt the care and concern....it's abt actions.......lOl

i'm single.......in case some ppl out there still thought i'm with someone......

fated to be ba.......lOl......coming 24 soon!!!

hAHAHhaHAHah.......

last day of March 2007.....which means my salary is in!

and i'm off to work soon......sat busy night and all those mth end thingy.......wtf.....lOl....

oh.......going to 'sao mu' at lim chu kang tml with relatives and family.....wads that called in eng ar? lOL........

took leave for that........nv once fail to 'sao mu' every yr since young...i'll nv break the record.....i think it's important......since only once a yr we can pay our respects to our ancestors......my great grandma and my grandpa....

mon's my off day.....going to apply for my long awaited pdl.........heh......might be going out with my mum too.......hehe........

ummmm...it's 3pm.....work....

down down and down

2007-03-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

it one of those days again....

nah....not menses......

just feeling lonely yet enjoyed being alone....

it's one of the down periods.....

first thing i saw on my comp when i log on to frdstr is a lovely testimonial from my sis.....

went shopping all by myself just now.....bought a brown top, a black top and and blank pants....

i wanna buy more......

but stopped as i was too tired

really tired of being me.....

why cant ppl around me stop lying?

making up stories.....wanting me to believe.....

if they simply cant.........den fuck off......

get away from me.......

ummm.....

2007-03-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

You have been given the provisional approval for your application to register as a relief teacher.

Schools will be allowed to employ you during this interim period.

jus checked for my application status as a relief teacher......

fast........i'm approved.....jus like 2 yrs ago...........so even if i lose my job now......i wont starve........i can relief teach straight away........and still get income while sourcing for a better job......

but the thing is.......i'm still lost............

haiz.........

maybe i'll wait..........still waiting for moe's reply.......whether i can teach......as in really go nie and then be a full time teacher..........

jus like 2 yrs back........i got a big piece of letter.........to inform me that i'm being rejected.....lOl..........

my body is getting weaker and weaker.........chest hurts when i cough........head pain when i sneeze.......wad sia........

watching this korean drama called 'wonderful life' the supporting male actor so handsome can........lOl.......stupid female lead only love male lead.........wasted.....comedy romantic kinda.......touching in some scenes.....i cried so much..........i'll nv get to experience such touching lovey thingy.......ha....

10 more episodes to go......planned to finish up tonight.......but my weak body cant take it any longer.......

better take med and head for bed.......

i wonder if that approval will have an expiry date........ummmmm

friends

2007-01-31T01:39:00.000+08:00

met up with a sec sch frd.....its been more than a yr since we last met.....

the feeling is still as good.....

meet ups need not be frequent......

that's what i call friends.....

planned to meet Cindy tml.....but she's down with bad fever.....

happy february everyone......!!

i wanna be wad i wanna be......only one person knows this......that is myself.....

one more thing.......being a chinese teacher...lOl......that's a dream too.....

watched blood diamond just now......nice one.....was at vivo with frog.....finally gave him his bday present for last may......

he's studying in sim now.......accounting......wth....hAHah......everyone's getting a degree........wtf.....

and wad am i doin here?

hAHahAHhaHAHa.......

sometimes even me myself dont understand kevlyn

quiz

2007-01-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

anybody there?~??~~

2007-01-07T06:51:00.000+08:00

lots of friends yes...intangible yes....

saddist no.......moody probably.....

tired yes.....sense of achievement a little.....

monotonous at times........lack of motivation....

self-proclaimed happiness......

feigning ignorance most of the time.....

reality vs virtual

it's 7am now........sleepy and sense of lethargy yes.....definitely.....never not there.....

holding it tightly may not work....letting lose isn't the best solution either......

wads the point of plain waiting.......hopefully awaiting......

urgency depicts importance?

i'm like totally clueless...

wad the fuck am i typing?

wads going through my mind?

ummmmmmm...nvm

well......saw stella......used to hate her so much for her overly cute-sy voice in all her cmi songs.....

saw her at the cathay last tues i think......she's with heavily done mascara...maybe those are fake lashes.......snobbish look as if she's some kinda mega SUPERstar......and she walked like an ah lian.....*pukez

nvm abt her......hAHhaha

watched Confession of Pain with fang there.......tony leung.......omg.....handsome.......still rem this guy by the name of andy chow i think.......who resembled tony leung! same ht oso(which means not tall la)......captivating pair of eyes......i melted on the spot sia.....but i acted i'm ok la...hAHahHA....he's a smoker i think.....i smelt cig smell from him...

k la....time for bed......i wanna dream sweet pls......PLS!!!!

oh ya....happy 2007!

i'm 23

2006-12-24T03:38:00.000+08:00

and my mum thought i'm 24.......mummy ah mummy....

faintz*

but i still love her......

she whipped up dinner with nice fried beehoon.......big prawns cooked with butter oat....curry chicken and blablablah....

and she even bought a nice fruit bday cake for me.....

well.......i countdowned to my bday at SGH....

unexpectedly huh......

anything can happen la....

was doing night shift on the eve of my bday........

one of my staff got several cuts when one of the glass cracked and chipped off while she's washing it

the 2 cm long cut and her middle finger was very deep.....the 3 other cuts were quite ok.........

i was shakened a little.......and got so scared but still acting strong......HAHah....

i cant see too much blood!

and yet i've witnessed the whole thing......i applied pressure with tissue on on those wound she got....

until i could not take it any longer.....i decided to send her to the hospital....

i cant afford to let her blood continue to flow and let her wound heal by itself.....

cos it's really very deep.....

when we finally hailed a cab towards SGH.....she said she felt sharp pain.......and i thought maybe some small little glass peices are in her wound.....damn it....

after her x ray.......it proved that there's no glass......thank god....

and then....the clock in the hospital striked 12am.......22nd dec 2006.......

heh......

my poor girl had 4 stitches.......

and her hand was wrapped up so much......and......well....her major wound is on her middle finger....so u can imagine how funny it looked.......she can still joke abt it.....

nice happy go lucky and strong girl....and she's only 17......

hope everything's fine.......

left SGH ard 2+am.......half of the time we're like plain waiting......stupid sia....

8 more days to 2007.......times flies....

23-24

2006-11-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

mum was holding a calender of 2007 with a nice nice cover page of a cute piggy.....well....cos 2007 is the yr of pig ma....

and i'm born in that particular piggie yr.....

she said i'm turning 24 already.....its my yr soon.....HAHah....

but i reckoned i hadn't turn 23 yet!

hAHha......so fast.....december is coming.....

having spent my off day at home with my family today....tml will be back at work settling mth end stuff......

decided to get a new hp.......tak boleh tahan liao.....

current one keep auto shut downing and batt life was so short it couldn't last me a day......

and i realized the batt was bloated!

haHa....daddy said it's spoilt and was shocked it still can be used.......

K800i.......droolz*

december.......how i wish it will just pass by in a swift......

this yr........i dun feel like having december.....

life...

2006-11-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

life's getting monotonous already......since long ago....

i browsed through those whole load of pictures taken with moon and myself....thinking back....it's been nearly 2 yrs.....he told me we watched polar express on the 23rd nov 04....

lOl.....i rem the movie but not the date....we watched at causeway point...

getting into the mood to recall back good old memories........those days b4 i started as a full time worker.....

those days in school........those days earning money for my own expenses by working part time almost everywhere.......no need to be responsible for anything......work for the sake of money.......

it's totally different now.....just had my field coaching on thursday.....luckily this time round it's better than the previous.....

this session ended the whole leadership series......

thank god.....

being too emotional is my only weak point......

for myself and for my love ones........

i will be stronger.....

even if i cant change by this yr.........

being stronger shall be my 2007 resolution.....

and i'm determined

my dearest...

2006-11-24T23:54:00.001+08:00

today's my mum's bday....

took leave to spend time with her...brought her to compasspoint to buy her a present....

decided to get her a pair of earrings!

she preferred the one at goldheart instead of lee hwa and poh heng....

xmas special......HAHahA........thats y birthdays at yr end is alwiz good......buy gifts oso got discounts......

but y it seemed so hard to get presents on my bday?

HAHahA

FAT hope i think......

in a mth's time........xmas eve.......boring.....

saw the result show for proj superstar last night......well......the one who got the most points and sang the best got eliminated......maybe cos she's not pretty enough and she's kinda meaty..........this is getting overly realistic.......but thats also the fact........everyone gotta accept....

well....time for a nice hot shower.......

my dearest...

2006-11-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

long lost frd

2006-11-12T03:36:00.000+08:00

saw JL when i was at work just now....ard 7pm....still as tall and pretty....used to be so close back then....

long to catch up with her but this kinda thing is alwiz two sided.....cant be just me who long to be frds with her again.....even if its just normal frds....i wouldn't mind

she told me PS's married....last time when we're still young.....around 15.....3 of us talked abt our future.....and we all agreed that PS will be the kind who will marry at early age......hAHah.....it came true.....

well.......time flies...we're already 23.......

seriously missing those times......

things are changing constantly isn't it?

same as my sis

2006-10-30T02:43:00.000+08:00

when i was walking towards my blk from the bus stop.......

i felt loneliness....

it strucked me suddenly

as usual i took train from bugis to tampines....

and from tampines waited for bus 27...heading home....

read my cousin's blog....she's feeling damn low....

sent her an sms assuring her that i'm always there for her and i care....

hope it helped......

my sis isn't feeling any better too

she knows she has got me....i know i have her......

but still.......

hAHahHA

really terrible.......immense loneliness.....

work had long taken away my life......

socially.....

it's always work work and work...because of work...i cant spend more time with my family.......because of work.....i cant go out with my frds during weekend.......because of work.....i can't keep my sis company.........and because of work.......it's been a long time since i met my good frds for a good night out.....

it's my off day today (monday).....wtf......off on monday?~!?!~!~

HAHahAHha....

and it will be wasted.....cos i've got whole loads of paperwork needa be done....

for tuesday's submission.......31st oct........big day.......halloween night for my boutique........baby handling over to me.......action plan needed for my superior.....so much plannings to be done........

ok!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP COMPLAINING U STUPID KEVLYN...!!!!!!!!!!

lack of confidence....thats ur own problem....not up to it....fuck off and quit den....

HAHahhAHa

anyone wanna help to boost my social life?

back to work!

2006-10-25T14:38:00.000+08:00

hari raya was like hell at work.....

not enough staff as more than half of our manpower are malay....

none of them worked except for our captain siju......who worked morning shift.....

i dragged myself to work as i'm not feeling well....

thinking that i ought to turn up for work as my fellow colleagues are busy like hell....

somemore i just got back from 3 days break.....one of the days even fell on deepavali....

the trip was overall a fun one.......other than getting stomach flu upon returning....

zzzzzzzzzz

it felt really bad....whole day at work yesterday was like hell....

busy nvm......short of staff nvm.....and i keep experiencing giddy spells....nauseatic.....stomach bloated and crampy though nv eat anything....the worst of all is having cold sweat.......my uniform was wet at my back.......one colleague even asked how come i felt so hot.....told him it was cold sweat.......shivering at times....lucky thing is that both my colleagues working at baby side were very understanding......they nv fully utilise their 45mins break time.....both of them came back to work after finishing their meal......so touched.....

yet i gotta work.........

lucky thing is that time passes relatively fast yesterday......and my superior told me to leave 15 mins earlier to go see a doc.....

took a cab down to rv plaza....

doc said mine is stomach flu..... wtf

When you have stomach flu, you may have one or more of the following symptoms:

nausea
vomiting
stomach cramps
diarrhea
mild fever
fatigue
chills
loss of appetite
muscle aches.

I GOT IT ALL!

SOBZ*

anyway.....the following paragraph was extracted from another website...

Stomach flu (gastroenteritis)

Stomach flu, sometimes called gastroenteritis, is inflammation of the stomach and intestines. It can be caused by a viral or bacterial infection or by some poisons.

The symptoms of gastroenteritis include nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, diarrhea, fever, and weight loss.

saw the last 2 word of the last sentence?~!!~!~?!~

muAaghhAHha......WEIGHT LOSS....

cmon la...jus let me feel happy for once.....kena this stomach flu is not good.....at least i saw something not so bad...HAHahHA

http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dvrd/revb/gastro/faq.htm

the above link is the most detailed one regarding stomach flu....i have no idea wads it all abt when the doc told me......

the doc wasn't frdly at all.....so i didn't probe much....

he told me it's stomach flu and when i asked if it's anything related to food poisoning ...... he said "no...i've already told u it's stomach flu"

wtf......i asked wad causes stomach flu.....he replied "viruses in the air"

wtf

i stopped.....

AHhaha.....so here am i....doing some little research on stomach flu......

hAHahhA.....

PARANOID MA

one more thing....i'm off today....which means i dun need mc....doc wanted to give me mc till thurs....but thurs i must turn up for work cos 2pm got field coaching for me.......so sad.....but i believe this would greatly aid my promotion if everything turns out good.....wish me luck ppl...

and so i turned down the mc offer.......

something like this

2006-10-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

Responsibilities:

To provide, at all times, professional responses / solutions to customer enquiries and requests and, by meeting and exceeding their expectations, achieve customer satisfaction, retention and revenue growth.
Identifying customer’s needs & handling customer enquiries & requests
Resolving customer complaints
Communicating effectively cross functionally & liaising with overseas counterparts

KL

2006-10-12T05:07:00.000+08:00

going KL soon!!!!

next weekend!~!~~~

hehe.....

i'm gonna do the best hair treatment at one of the best salon there......

cos my damned hair is fucking dry......

it's been real fast......

it's been 6 freaking mths since my perm.....

hAHahhA.......getting uglier and uglier......and of cos.....needless to say.....drier and dryier....~!~!~!

hAHhahA....

hecks my spelling there.......

motivation.......

i need that suddenly........no one's there to give me a pat on my shoulder......

no listening ears.........

i can't grumble.....

fuck it....

life's like that....

class 3!

2006-10-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

ok...finally.......i'm all set to go sought after my car lic.....

found my basic theory reselt slip.....going to spend 25 bucks to go get a PDL.....hahAHhahA......

the slip dated 6th may........................not this yr....its 2002....muAHhahAHA

advanced slip lost...cant find......took one mth after my basic.........even if found....also invalid le ma...........2 yrs only.....

nvm...got basic can apply PDL le ma....HAHhahAHHa.......

3rd aunt have got this private instructor........i'll contact him once i got my PDL.....

and off i go towards my dream of having a lic.......

i give myself 6-8 mths?

not exceeding 1k?

HAHahAHHahA

oh ya...the result slip had turned yellow......wth...

haha....

went CNL last night.......changed a little.......table one to six......changed to couches.....but every other thing is still da same........behind the door of their staff lounge.......is a new big board with all pictures of CNL team......ex and present......

and around one quarter of it has my face on it! well...they are pics of me and some of them on my last day at CNL......a farewell supper for me.........sweeties.....

Taha had such puffy eye bags.....he must have overworked.......but i'm sure he'll be promoted soon.......fairly sure......

went ktv after that.....sang so much....AHHahA..today's my off and i'm heading to katong for ktv again!!

with my fellow colleagues from bugis......

and some other from other boutiques......

last tues after my work i went to youth park beside cineleisure for supper with CNL peepz........chatted for so long......didn't expect i could be so close with them after so long since we last work as a team together.......

life's like that.......

things keep changing..........

wads next?

goose-pimples

2006-09-23T03:28:00.000+08:00

u get it when u feel cold...when u shudder....when u're scared.......when u're feeling mushy....

......i got it so much just now....

here goes...

there's this guy....forget his name......had a bouquet of flowers sent to our boutique in the aftn........he had planned to propose to his gf over dinner....

i was the one who handed him the flowers......well.....the atmosphere was so darn sweet.....

shiit.....lucky girl....

how many men could really do a proper and romantic...and most importantly...a surprising proposal?

kns.......

well......

fat chance.....even if there are such men.....he's definitely not mine....

well...enough of such......

ummm.....went wild pink dolphin for some beer last night after work with A....

played poker cards......he had me entertained........after a long night of work....i really need that.....

one thing i don't really like......is the touchy side of him......

he offered to massage my neck for me but i had it all rejected.....in a subtle way....

in the cab....he sat so damn close to me.......i kept shifting bit by bit towards the door......wtf.....

why r some guys like this?~~!!

lucky thing is that i'm still quite sober.....

when i got home....i got an sms from him saying that i'm such a nice girl la.........he wanted to have me in his arms and fall aslp la.....

i hate it when guys are overly confident of themselves.....

so straight-forward....

but yeah...on the other hand....i hate it when guys simply have no confidence......no courage to say things out.....

i'm tired......tired of everything......wad i wan....i can nv get......tell me y!

off day

2006-09-20T14:51:00.000+08:00

heh....

finally....after so long......

i played maple......

started playing long ago but stopped for a couple of months on and off......

the last time i played should be 4 mths back...

downloaded patches......

suddenly felt so unfamiliar.....well.....not much fun la....no objectives...no nothing.......slow in leveling up...........

i think gunbound is better.....

at least it managed to help relief stress.......

yes it does......

well.......

my leisure time by myself is nothing but childish games like these..........my work time is forever monotonous and stagnant..........

looking forward to 21st next mth.......will be going for a short trip.....3D2N of genting and kl with family...cousin and aunt......heh.....

i wanna tidy up my forever messy room...........seriously.......

useless issues

2006-09-13T03:41:00.000+08:00

now i find that blogging at my private site is more secure....

haHa....

well.....nothing much to update here oso....

no secrets no scandals no nothing.....

well...

i'm just too busy.....

working and working and working.......

oh ya...german blend came few weeks back.....

nice to see him....

time flies......

my off day past le......so fast too.....

last week went to rouge with sis and frds on my off day.......

nice place to chill......great band.....

once in a while getting myself a lil drunk is a nice thing to do oso.....

i love the numbness in me whenever i'm drunk.....

i dun needa feel sad bad stress tired blahblahblaa.....

i've gotta be strong

only in dramas

2006-09-03T03:04:00.000+08:00

HAahHA....

something dramatic happened to me recently.....

'unbelieveably' true.....

it's those kind of.......encounters which u'll only see it on tv....

for example......

falling for a rich old man and he turns out to be ur ex bf's dad....

gotten into contact who an ex bf whom u've lost contact for many many yrs and ended up together......

got so close with this particular rich taitai in the end she's actually ur bf's sugar mummy....

thought u've found ur the other half.....happily immersed in being together......in the end he finally confessed that he's getting married next mth with someone he's been seeing since many yrs ago.....

examples only la....those typical drama mama thingy......

hAhahAHhahA.....

i love dramas but not when it's involving me

the missing pieces

2006-08-27T03:47:00.000+08:00

have u ever got so excited over something but in the end it gives u nothing but disappointment?

let's just say u're so into this jigsaw puzzle......u spent so much time in it.....and when it's finishing.....u realized that there are missing pieces.....or maybe one missing piece.........u'll be like so damn down.....u looked everywhere....up and down.........but u simply cant find them........

HAHahAH

another scenario............

u finally done up a jigsaw puzzle........very nice........happy and satisfied.......glued it on........in a piece.......but u realized.......that the frame u're gonna get.....is of a rare dimension......u tried so hard and asked so many places but u just cant get the frame of the correct size......well.......yes u can tailor make the frame......but hello~~~ it'll cost u much more...... and u're gonna be lazy......

well....maybe for me...........

malas nak mampos.........

hAHahHA.....

i'm getting tired.....i think i'll just skip having my meals when i'm at work........totally have got no appetite......no idea why oso....HAHahHA........

not too bad ma.......can lose some weight at the same time........

turning in soon...........

oh ya.........guess i'll skip the proj superstar 2 thingy..........

plain lazy...........

=)

2006-08-20T04:56:00.000+08:00

just back from cnl.....

had a mini farewell party.....

damn so touched.....

a short 4mths.....

a relationship's formed.....

tml's a brand new day.........brand new start......

i'll definitely miss cnl.....

the penis shaped keychain and lovely bracelet......

i don't deal with idiots

2006-08-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

i know i'm always down on my luck when it comes to relationship....

but it kept me wondering.......y bother to spend time going after me when in the end.....they have no time and started saying things like.....we're better off as friends.....

assholes.....

consecutively 2 men.......or rather idiots.....

i'm someone who don't stick bf......i'm independent......i won't mind my bf to be so caught up in work....got so busy that we don't even meet up for a week or two......

arghhhhh....

enough said......

hope i'll have lots of luck in my career since i've none in love.....

well.....received a news last night.......that i'll be transferred to bugis....

another new challenge......

though i wasn't really prepared for it......

when i want it last time.....they said i'm not going to be back there for good.......and now....they said bugis needs me to be there......

i'm very often.....manipulated....

i've got no say....

heckz....

anyway...official last day should be thurs......and i'm off to bugis on fri......but i told my boss i wanna stay till sat....at least for the rest of the planned schedule.....

spend more time with cnl team.....which i felt...i've grown to love them so much....

life is unpredictable.......

thought of the day : 'no men can play with my feelings again'

2006-08-10T02:48:00.000+08:00

suffering from stomachache now.........weak...

felt like da bian but no shit come out eh....

well........registered for proj superstar 2 le..... lOl

still gotta have one close up and one full body 3R pic sia....

troublesome......

i think i'll skip la......cos no pics ma....!!

go take?

ha...lazy.....one more mth only eh......

and the audition starts at 9am can...it says gotta reach there by 9am....

sure got lots of crazy ppl q overnight one.....

arghhhh

stomachache la!!!

no one cared

what u mean sia

2006-08-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

taking pics with butches means i'm a lesbo?

putting pics on my msn which showed my male frd and me means he's my bf?

going out with my ex bf means we're back together?

missing someone of the opposite sex means i had fallen for him?

rejected a guy's pursue means i don't like him?

wanna remain as friends after u rejected him means u're playing hard to get?

finally found someone who likes u......does that really mean he'll be serious?

allowing him to hold ur hands means committing to a relationship?

feeling extremely comfortable with him means u're taking him for granted?

or does that mean u ought to be together with him?

i may like him but does that mean he'll be the one for me?

we like each other but are we really meant to be together?

so what if he likes me......does that mean he'll definitely go after me?

staying at home on fridays and saturdays or even sundays meant that u're someone who has got no life?

i mean....hello.....can't i be at home on those days?

furthermore i'm not 9-5...mon to fri office workers........

only stupid ppl die die wanna go out on weekends......

everywhere crowded......movies more expensive.....blablablahhh.....

working in the service industry means that i'm sociable?

feeling happy at work means i love my job so much?

having a diploma is really nth?

yes i agree......

it's nth....even degree holders sux.......

after so many relationship.......i'm still frail and weak....

i thought i could easily withstand emotional stress.....

but i found out i cant.....

sis i miss u.......

i felt like registering for proj superstar 2....yes i know i won't even get selected for prelim rounds......but i felt that i wanna experience......i'm no longer young yeah.....

shiiiiitttt

i felt like one

another lesson learnt

2006-08-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

ha....

the intensity of the access had gone up.....

access denied.....

one week...or rather 6 days.....

weird treatments from him....

calling it off.....

rather than dragging it on

just back from Azman's wedding.....at holiday inn park view.....

when will be my wedding day i thought......

vague......too vague....

hAHa....

false hopes

2006-07-30T05:10:00.000+08:00

i hate it....

i knew it....

i shouldn't have done it....

he's not serious....

and i felt stupid.....

hAHahHA.....

bye

E2MAX @ CINE-L9

2006-07-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

haHA....

just feeling kinda bored....so here i am...at cine 9th floor....

knocked off ard 8pm.....killing time here.....

tml's my off!!

will go get a pair of black shoes for work...

current pair spoilt already ma.....

going devilsbar later.....

throat still painful.....

coughing hard too....

but seriously....i've not been smoking since long ago....

i still look foward to a holiday......

what a great day

2006-07-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

tues night......how nice.......was working the night shift....suddenly Eileen and Aini who happen to walk pass my boutique......saw me!!!

we hugged and chatted and later companied them downstairs for a smoke.....did some catching up.....Eileen is working at starbucks..nearly 1 yr....at psa building.....what an outlet......make me cant find her as and when i like.....Aini is working at shangri-la front office......3 yrs already.....

while chatting...Charmaine saw us all.......and we have another round of hugging and smooching....hAHahHA

previously had a lil misunderstanding between me and Charm......i bet after that hug.......it's gone already......

went up to resume work.......den....Julia came....HAHahHAHa....so many frds!!!

hugged and squeezed and of cos groped....HAHahAHa

went CQ to look for Shah....went Spize for our meal.........saw Zul......ex cook in bugis......and later when we left.....i saw big Jane eating with her i-think-is-bf.....

i find her good looking that night....maybe she had became prettier.....well.....dosage of love i guess.....

i'm not going KL or anywhere for holiday anymore......but i wont be wasting my rest days........

gonna make full full use of them....

QUIZ

2006-07-11T01:57:00.000+08:00

Kev, you're fit to commit because you know what you want

HAHah.....i took a quiz to find out if i'm fit to commit.....

so it turned out that i am!

it's like....so?!~~

http://web.tickle.com/tests/fittocommitnew/

Being an INTP means that although you may be thoughtful and quiet at times, you are also likely to be deeply ambitious. You're the kind of individual who sets personal goals for yourself and works hard to achieve them. Unlike many people with high aspirations, you aren't the kind to showboat in order to get noticed. Still, INTPs like you have a quiet intensity that most people can detect. This strength allows you to be a source of reassurance to those around you. When others are losing their cool in a crisis, you can be there to pick up the pieces. You may not always say much, but when you do speak up, you often manage to offer useful, thought-provoking insights.

In relationships, part of what often excites you is sharing your ideas about the world. You can enjoy talking over issues or helping to solve people's problems. In fact, you seem to have a real knack for problem-solving when there is a concrete solution that can be found. However you may be less eager to get involved in the grey areas of intense interpersonal problems - even when the problems are your own. This isn't because you don't care. You probably just don't want to be responsible for coming up with the "right" answer when someone else is involved. It can be a lot of pressure.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/lovetype/

Kev, you're a Romantic Middle!

Okay, so you're not a die-hard romantic who carelessly tosses around loving words, hopeful promises, and doting acts, but you do a pretty great job of expressing your loving feelings. Couplehood suits you to a T, and you like coming up with new, creative, non-mushy ways of showing your sweetie how you feel. You know very well that there are other ways to show love, respect, and admiration besides all that flowery mumbo-jumbo. Basically, you're passionately romantic without being excessively sentimental — practical, but also sweet and sensitive. Because no matter what, it's very important to you that your partner understands how much you care about him — you love how close you feel to him when you tell and show him what's in your heart.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/romance_women3.jsp?c=50892&test=romance_women3

and then....i went to do another quiz.....which is.....'why are you still single?'

the results...

Kev, you're single because you don't want to commit

muAHhahAHha....this is damn so contradicting! i thought i'm fit to commit because i know what i want? well the results showed what...HAHahHA

this is when i found out that all these quizzes are plain wasting my time.....wad the hell

well....finally world cup is OVER!

HahAHHa....

umm...recently one of my ex bf found me ..HAHahAH.....i didn't know its him till i asked if his chinese name is QL.....wad a small world...it's been 7 freaking yrs!!!

lost contact after we both walk our own different ways......

and now...after like 7 yrs.....we're frds again.....

met up with him after work on sunday for the first time after 7 yrs....we went to a pub called 'wild' to join 2 of his frds at circular road...near boat quay there....had some beer and left to catch soccer...

still look the same but somehow meatier....

he said i looked the same too but had became prettier......that sweet mouth of his hasn't change huh....

and just now after work....met up with Jonathan....had some drinks at one kopitiam at punggol..started telling me stuff abt his car......boring.....luckily QL nv......HAHahA......2 straight days i went out with my ex bfs.....it felt so weird...

umm.....going KL next thurs!!!!! with my dearest PeiFang!!

HAHahHAHahHAHa.......shiok!

cant wait can.....!!!

simply plain

2006-07-07T01:20:00.000+08:00

i'll stay this way for now.....plain template....

no pics.....no profile.....no nth.....

ha.....

oh ya.....Peiling finally contacted me yesterday......via sms.....

it's been nearly a yr....

since her mia......

felt really happy.....

that she suddenly appeared in my life once again....

=)

vacation!!

2006-07-07T00:37:00.000+08:00

i wanna travel!!

i wanna go holiday!!

i wanna get out of singapore!!

i wan a short trip!!

i wanna relax!!!

i need a small getaway!!!!

i've got enough PH and AL to claim!!!

ask me out ask me out!!!

PeiFang......how's the cruise thingy???

we go enjoy together!!!!!

hAHah.....

brand new BLOG!

2006-07-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

hahAH.....decided to have a fresh blogsite......

old one will be kept private......

will do rare updates there........all the dark secrets about me...hAHha

and.....

sad to say...... www.kevlyn.blgospot.com is taken.......

within one week.....someone had actually seized that site name.....kns....take la take la....

HAHahA.....